


The Stars in Summer

by Ellessey



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Different High Schools AU, Feels, First Kiss, First Love, First Meeting, First Time, Kid Tanaka, M/M, Self-Discovery, Sexual exploration, Slow Build, Summer Love, Summer Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-06-06 23:25:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6774472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellessey/pseuds/Ellessey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘ “We’ll take you to our favorite ice cream shop,” Daichi tells Suga. “It’s not fancy, but it’s really good.”</p><p>Suga waves a hand over himself, his soft, frayed shorts, and plain white t-shirt. “I was really hoping for fancy, Daichi, so I don’t know if this is going to work out.”</p><p>Daichi laughs, that warm rumble that starts in his belly, and Suga thanks all of his lucky stars that he’s walking through this nothing town right now, with this boy who is definitely <i>something</i>.’</p><p>--</p><p>The summer before his senior year of high school, Suga is grounded, stuck in a small town he doesn’t know, with no friends, no plans for the break, and no end in sight. Then, as luck would have it, he meets Daichi. </p><p>Suddenly, it’s a big town, and an even bigger world, with the open sky up above—and someone for Suga to reach out and touch it with, before the long train ride back home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Suga is at loose ends. If he were at home right now he would be doing all the typical summer things with his friends. Hanging out at the pool, taking long walks to get popsicles they could have eaten for free if they'd just stayed at home. But it would be more fun that way, lounging in the shade of the shop's awning, people-watching and just enjoying each other's company. Soaking up the lazy freedom before their last year of high school begins.

Suga does not have any company here. He knows his parents weren’t trying to ruin his summer when they suggested it would be easier for everyone if he stayed with his uncle. He could have argued with them and been as difficult as possible until they relented and let him stay, even though his mother's job will have her out of the country 95% of the time, and his father is about two steps away from having a complete breakdown if he doesn't crack down and finish his writing project before its deadline. Suga doesn't like to be difficult though, and he doesn't see any sense in making an unpleasant situation worse, so...

Instead of being at home, he is here. Sitting in front of his uncle's house (his uncle who is never actually home, so this is essentially the same situation he would have had if he hadn't come, minus one anxiety-ridden father talking to himself and staring at a blank screen). His legs are stretched out over the warm dirt leading up to the front stoop of the house, as he contemplates the road in front of him and the fact that he has nowhere to go.

He passes some time sliding his legs open and closed, like a child making a snow angel, watching the way the fine, reddish dust clings to his skin. He runs his fingers through it and considers streaking it across his face in an imitation of war paint and getting up to run hollering through the streets—just so he would be doing _something,_ moving instead of feeling stuck here on the ground—but then he hears a small voice. Another human being.

He stops kicking the dirt and looks around, trying to find the source, and there it is...across the street and a few houses down. There's a child dragging a small table across his front lawn and calling out, "Dai-niiii!"

Suga gets to his feet and waits when the boy runs back into the house, reappearing a moment later with a large piece of paper in one hand and something small in the other...tape. He's taping the sign onto the front of the table. Suga can't make out the childish scrawl from here, but he's pretty sure he can figure out what's happening now.

Sure enough, the next time the boy darts into the house, he comes out slowly, very carefully tottering along with a large glass pitcher, filled to the brim with something that is probably cold and sweet and exactly what Suga needs after sitting here in this hot, dusty purgatory all morning.

The child turns back to the house and yells again. "Dai-nii! Bring the cups!"

Dai-nii does not seem to be in any hurry to bring the cups, but Suga is already walking down the path, his bare feet kicking up puffs of dust as his pace quickens. As soon as there are cups, he’s ready for whatever they're selling.

The boy sees him coming and jumps to his feet. "Oy! Oy!" he cries, waving his arms around, as if Suga might possibly not see him, or might be heading anywhere else right now on this quiet, empty street. "Are you thirsty? Are you?"

Suga tries to swallow down a laugh and stops in front of the table, looking down at the little boy with buzzed hair and the most intense expression he has ever seen on a child of six or seven.

"You know, I _am_ thirsty," Suga says.

"Yes!" The boy cries. "Then buy some lemonade! You have to buy some!"

"I—" Suga begins, and then is cut off by a deep voice.

"Ryuu-kun, that's not how it works. You can't _demand_ sales."

Suga looks up to see the speaker making his way across the front lawn, a stack of plastic cups in each hand. He is...well, he looks exactly like one would hope someone with that voice would look. He appears to be Suga's age, and close to Suga's height, though a little bit taller, and significantly more tanned and muscular and...honestly, who is this, and why is this the first time Suga has seen him in the three days he's been here?

"Why not?" Ryuu demands, drawing Suga's attention back to him. He's screwing up his face in what he probably intends to be a threatening expression, his little chin tilted up and his wiry arms crossed over a thin chest. "If no one buys any _I_ won't be able to buy candy, and then you're gonna have to buy it for me, Dai-nii. So you should tell him to buy my lemonade too!"

"If it helps," Suga pipes up before the dark-haired boy can respond to his volatile little companion, "I was already planning to buy some. That's why I walked over."

This admission is met with a loud whoop from Ryuu, and it also earns Suga the newcomer's attention for the first time. His dark eyes come to Suga and he smiles warmly, and Suga...Suga will blame it on the scorching sun, and the fact that he's been sitting in it for too long, but he feels a touch faint.

"Where did you walk from?" the boy asks, putting the stacks of cups on the table and pulling one off the top to hand to Ryuu, who is practically vibrating with excitement next to him.

"Just over there," Suga says, pointing towards his uncle's house. "With the blue mailbox. I'm staying with my—"

"Ryuu! Wait!"

Ryuu has the heavy, overfilled pitcher in both hands and is clearly about to spill the entire thing, but the older boy grasps it just in time so only a little spills over. All over his hands, of course.

"Sorry!" Ryuu cries.

"It's okay," the boy says, shaking his hands off and then clenching his fists and cringing at the stickiness. "Let me help you, okay?"

Ryuu consents and they lift the pitcher together this time, carefully filling a plastic cup, which Ryuu then grasps in both hands and carries proudly to Suga.

"Fifty yen!" he says before Suga has even taken the lemonade.

_"Ryuu-kun."_

_"What?_ He has to pay for it, that's the whole point!"

Suga stifles another giggle and reaches into his pocket to pull a coin out and drop it in Ryuu's waiting hand.

"You little mercenary, we don't even know if it's good." The taller boy is standing with his arms crossed now, just like Ryuu was a minute earlier, but his biceps swell when he does it, filling the short sleeves of his black t-shirt. Suga very nearly clenches his cup tightly enough to end up with lemonade on his hands too.

"Of course it is! We made it!"

Suga smiles and forces his gaze away from those arms and that solid, broad chest, and up to a strong jaw and warm eyes that are equally distracting. "Are you two...brothers?" he asks. They don't really look like brothers.

"No, no. I'm just watching Ryuu-kun until his parents get home from work. I live next door." He gestures towards the house to the left, which is almost directly across from Suga's uncle’s. "I'm Sawamura Daichi, by the way," he adds.

"Sugawara Koushi," Suga says. "You can just call me Suga though, or..." _Koushi._ Sawamura Daichi and his smiling eyes could definitely call him Koushi.

"Suga," Daichi repeats, and really, that sounds so nice when it comes out of his mouth that Suga is perfectly content. "You said you're staying with someone?"

"Yes, my uncle."

"Oh." Daichi's eyes go over to the house across the street, then back to Suga. "I think I've only ever seen him once or twice."

"Yeah, me too," Suga smiles.

"Dai-nii, stop distracting him. Drink it!" Ryuu says.

"Oh, of course." Suga lifts the cup to his lips, anticipating the sweet, sugary taste of lemonade, and then doing his very best not to spit the juice out immediately when it hits his tongue. There is nothing he can do about the way his face scrunches up as he swallows. "It's, it's..."

Daichi and Ryuu are both looking at him, waiting.

"Is it bad?" Ryuu asks. "You look sick."

"Ryuu-kun, quiet."

"No, no, it's not bad, it's just... _really_ sour, and, and..." What is that other thing that is entirely wrong about it?

"Did you not put enough sugar in, Ryuu-kun?" Daichi asks. "I said one and a half cups."

"I didn't put _any_ sugar in, that was your job!" Ryuu roars. "I put in the salt!"

"The _salt?!"_

"Oh," Suga says. "Yes, that's what it is. Sour and salty."

"Oh my god." Daichi has his hand over his eyes. "I'm so sorry. Ryuu, give him his money back."

"He already took a sip!" Ryuu cries, and Suga can't help it anymore. Every word this kid says has him fighting not to laugh, and this time he gives in, doubling over with a hand on his knee, the horrible lemonade still clutched in the other hand, as he dissolves completely.

Eventually he realizes he's not alone. Daichi is laughing now, too, his hands over his stomach.

"Your _face,_ ” he crows. "It was like you'd put an entire lemon in your mouth."

"Apparently I did!" Suga says, too overcome with the delight of having someone to laugh with, of how rumbling and pleasant Daichi's laugh is, to care about how silly he must have looked when he forced the lemonade down.

"It's not funny," Ryuu growls, looking at the two older boys like he may very well murder them in their sleep, which only sets them off again.

"I'm sorry," Suga gasps, when he's finally pulled himself together and Daichi is only quietly chuckling. "I’m sorry, Ryuu-kun. You worked very hard on the lemonade and I don't want my money back. But maybe take it back inside and add some sugar, a lot of sugar, before you sell any more."

"Okay," he says, probably appeased by the promise that he’s not going to lose any money, more than anything else. "Dai-nii, help me?"

"Yeah, of course," Daichi says. "I'm really sorry, Suga. Will you wait, and I'll buy you a new cup when it tastes a little better?"

"You don't have to do that," Suga says. He is so, so pleased that Daichi has offered.

"I insist. Five minutes!" he says, holding a hand up.

"Alright," Suga laughs, sinking down to sit next to Ryuu's little plastic table. "But my expectations are going to be higher this time."

"I'll meet them," Daichi says, then he grins before turning to follow Ryuu into the house.

Suga is probably getting a little sunburned, but when he presses his hands to his cheeks he knows that's not the only reason they feel so hot under his palms.

*

Suga is definitely sunburned by the time he crawls into bed that night, squirming around and wishing he could just sleep in cool water instead of these rough sheets that are brushing uncomfortably against his skin.

It was more than worth it though, to have spent the afternoon in Ryuu's front yard, watching the boy chase down anyone he saw and force his lemonade on them. (The lemonade wasn’t exactly _good_ even after the sugar had been added. There wasn't anything that could be done about that salt, but it was bearable, and neither Daichi nor Suga had the heart to tell Ryuu he needed to dump it out and start over again.)

Suga and Daichi had sat on the grass, mostly watching Ryuu and answering his many questions every time he got bored and came to dance around them. They hadn't had a lot of their own conversation, but what they had was enough. Suga could have sat there without saying a word, just watching the way Daichi's arms flexed when he propped himself up with his hands behind him, the way he talked and laughed with Ryuu, the way his nose and cheeks started to turn pink as the sun moved over them.  

It had been completely unexpected and completely perfect. And it was capped off by Daichi stopping him when he'd turned to walk home.

"Hey, Suga..."

"Yes?" he'd asked, turning back around.

"There's, um...the back of your shorts have...something..." He'd trailed off then, blushing furiously—too much color to be blamed on the sun—when he perhaps realized the implications of him pointing out anything about the back of Suga's shorts.

"Oh," Suga had said, patting at his backside. The red dirt he'd sat in earlier must have stained the faded, light blue denim of his old, cut-off shorts, because it didn't brush away. "Just dirt," he said, and Daichi nodded.

"Ah."

"I'll see you around, Daichi," Suga had said, and the other boy nodded again.

If the tingling he felt up and down his back as he walked could be trusted, Daichi's eyes had stayed on him all the way home.

*

Suga doesn’t see Daichi, or Ryuu for that matter, at all over the next two days. Except a little glimpse one night when Suga peeks out his window to see a figure that must be Daichi, with those broad shoulders, walking along the street from the bus stop at the corner, and then disappearing into the house next to Ryuu’s. He’d told Suga he’s working at his father’s office for the summer, taking phone calls and making photocopies. Suga had nodded and hmm’d like that sounded like a good idea, when really he’d been disappointed that Daichi wouldn’t be home all day like him.

He's so curious about him, this handsome boy across the street who is so easy with his little neighbor, who is such a charming combination of direct and self-assured, and then suddenly adorably flustered. He wants to know more about him. He wonders what kind of music he listens to, and if he likes to read, and what it is he wants to study after high school. When Suga told him that he lives in Tokyo, Daichi's eyes had brightened (more, Suga is not sure what the word is when someone's eyes are already as warm and bright as Daichi's, and they somehow shine brighter), and he’d said he's thinking of going to university there next year. They had just started talking about the city, and what Suga loves about it and what Daichi wants to see, but then Ryuu had inexplicably ripped his shirt off as part of his current lemonade sales pitch, and Daichi had gotten up to tug it back down over his head.

Suga has to wait a little bit longer, but on the third day after their first meeting there’s a knock at his door in the late afternoon. He answers it, of course, because his uncle is not home, and Ryuu and Daichi are standing on the doorstep, both dressed in shorts and tank tops. It’s another sweltering day and they’ve come to invite him for ice-cream.

“Yes!” Suga says, stepping into his scuffed up shoes. “Ice-cream sounds great. Oh, but…” he pauses mid-step and Ryuu and Daichi both turn to him. “You didn’t...make it yourselves, did you?”

Daichi laughs and Ryuu looks embarrassed, so Suga brushes a hand over his bristly hair. “Not that it wouldn’t be a unique experience,” he adds.

“What’s _unique?_ ” Ryuu asks suspiciously.

“One of a kind,” Suga supplies.

“Disgusting,” Daich coughs behind his hand. Suga elbows him.

“Dai-nii, I can still understand you when you do that, you know,” Ryuu says, that threatening expression back on his face.

Daichi claps him on the back, sending the boy stumbling forward. “I know you can, buddy.”

Some yelping and play wrestling ensue, ending with Ryuu thrown over Daichi’s shoulder, shouting and laughing as the three boys begin their walk into town.

“We’ll take you to our favorite shop,” Daichi says, over Ryuu’s hollering. “It’s not fancy, but it’s really good.”

Suga waves a hand over himself, his soft, frayed shorts, and plain white t-shirt. “I was really hoping for fancy, Daichi, so I don’t know if this is going to work out.”

Daichi laughs, that warm rumble that starts in his belly, and Suga thanks all of his lucky stars that he’s walking through this nothing town right now, with this boy who is definitely _something._

The ice-cream, as it turns out, is exceptional. Rich and creamy, and offered in so many flavors Suga can only narrow his top choices down to three, all stacked one on top of the other in a big, sugary waffle cone.

“That’s going to make you sick,” Daichi says, sitting down next to Ryuu on a bench outside the shop. He already issued a similar warning to Ryuu, but that didn’t stop him from paying for the little boy’s overloaded cone.

“It will be worth it,” Suga says, joining them on the bench.

Daichi shrugs and goes to work on his own modestly sized scoop of chocolate ice-cream. They’re all looking into the street, watching people going by, but after a while Suga feels Daichi’s eyes on him and turns to see that he is indeed staring, a bemused expression on his face.

“How…” he begins, when Suga raises his eyebrows at him. “Where are you putting all of that?”

Suga is almost finished, licking the last traces from the small piece of cone remaining. He looks down at himself, not quite understanding the question. “In my stomach, like most people.”

Daichi shoots him a look. “I just mean, that was a lot of ice-cream, and you’re so...” He flounders then, his face coloring much like it had when he’d inadvertently commented on Suga’s ass. “Thin,” he finally says.

“I work out extensively, Daichi,” Suga says dryly, lifting an arm and flexing it. His bicep is like a child’s next to Daichi’s, his entire body leaning more towards slender and soft.

This does not stop Daichi’s gaze from lingering appreciatively on Suga’s raised arm. “You could teach me a thing or two,” he says, nodding decisively.

Suga shakes his head. “I think you’re probably a lost cause. Not much to be done with someone so frail and wispy.”

“Right, right,” Daichi agrees. “Maybe if I ate more ice-cream?”

“Perhaps,” Suga says, popping the last bit of his cone in his mouth.

“More ice-cream?!” Ryuu chirps. His mouth is ringed with all of the different flavors he sampled.

“No!” Daichi and Suga say together.

Daichi ends up carrying Ryuu the whole way home, hanging off of Daichi’s back this time, and complaining loudly about the jostling making his stomach hurt.

“What did I tell you?” Daichi asks.

“It’s not because of the ice-cream,” Ryuu insists.

Suga is feeling a bit overstuffed himself at this point, but he distracts himself by sneaking glances at Daichi’s arm next to him, completely bare, the muscles flexing and straining every time Ryuu starts to slide and he has to hitch him up. There is also the way the loose opening of his tank top hangs low under his arm, exposing flashes of obscenely toned pecs, and the rippled muscles over the side of his rib cage that Suga does not know the name for, because if they exist on his own body he cannot see them.

By the time they reach their street Suga is feeling embarrassingly voyeuristic, and Ryuu is half asleep, his head slumped on Daichi’s shoulder.

“I should get him home,” Daichi says, stopping in front of Suga’s house.

Suga is disappointed, he wants more time with Daichi. But it is dinner time for people who aren’t living in empty homes, and who haven't just stuffed themselves with sugar, and he knows the other boys would need to leave soon anyway.

“You should,” he agrees. “Thanks for taking me along.”

“Of course. I’m watching Ryuu-kun again tomorrow if you...I mean you don't have to, but it was nice having you there last time.”

“Will you or will you not charge me to drink sugar-free, lemon flavored saltwater?” Suga asks.

“I will not,” Daichi says, one hand tucked under Ryuu’s leg, the other pressed over his own heart.

“Then I’ll be there.”

*

That next day is much like the first two Suga spent with Ryuu and Daichi, and it sets the tone for the following days and weeks. Suga either walks across the street as soon as he sees Daichi come out his front door, and the two of them go together to collect Ryuu, or if the boys are earlier than usual they come and knock on Suga's door or tap on his window. (They’ve practically worn a path through Suga’s yard already from all the times they’ve spotted him in his bedroom at the front of the house, and Ryuu has scampered right into the flower bed beneath his window before Daichi can catch up and remind him that Suga has a front door.) After that, it's a lot of meandering walks to playgrounds or convenience stores to find things to snack on, a lot of Daichi humoring Ryuu's whims and Suga happily going along for the ride.

It's also a lot of Daichi's smiles, a lot of his solid body so close to Suga's when they've collapsed in the grass after chasing Ryuu, or when they're all crowded around Ryuu's little table sharing something to eat. But never touching. Daichi hasn't touched him once, though Suga often feels his eyes on him. And after two weeks of the summer have passed by and they've seen each other, laughed with each other, and—unless he's very misguided and confused—flirted with each other so many times, Suga is really starting to wonder why. The only thing he can think of is the constant presence of a certain little boy.

He decides to test this theory and suggest that he and Daichi do something that does not involve their neighbor, as much as Suga is growing to love the loud, wild little thing.

"Hey, Daichi," Suga says when they've said goodbye to Ryuu after an afternoon spent decorating the street with chalk art, and are now standing alone in front of Daichi's house.

"Yeah?" Daichi has a smudge of blue chalk on the end of his nose and a streak of orange across his forehead. Suga temporarily loses his train of thought. "Suga?"

"Oh, I was just...you have chalk here," he says. This is not at all what he meant to say, but he's reaching out now, brushing his fingertips over the tip of Daichi's nose. When Daichi only stands there, wide-eyed and still, Suga sweeps the pad of his thumb over his forehead.

It's nothing really, just a nose and a forehead, not even a pair of lips, but Suga finds himself almost breathless making contact with any part of Daichi's skin. He should have let his hand drop by now, but he doesn't...he lets it linger, his eyes on Daichi's, until the other boy lifts his own hand and wraps it loosely around Suga's wrist, his large fingers easily closing around it.

"Did you get it?" he asks, his voice almost a whisper even though the street is silent and empty. Maybe _because_ it's silent and empty, except for them.

Suga nods. He lets his hand fall from Daichi's face, and Daichi's hand comes with it, so they're just standing there, a little too close together, not quite holding hands. "I was going to ask—"

"Do you want to hang out tomorrow night?" Daichi blurts out, his voice almost too loud after the hush that had fallen. "I mean go? Go out?"

Suga’s smile spreads all the way across his face, lifting his cheeks just as he feels something rising inside himself, too. Expectation, excitement. Maybe just his heart. "Yes," he says.

"Yeah?" Daichi asks, and Suga laughs.

"Yes, Daichi. Didn't I just say that?"

Daichi flushes slightly, dropping Suga's wrist, but he doesn't stop smiling. "I'm sorry. I just...you know I mean just us, right? Not Ryuu?"

"That's what I was hoping, yes," Suga says.

"Okay. Cool."

Suga just smiles. He can't stop smiling.

"Okay," Daichi says again. "Is six good?"

"Perfect."

"Good."

Suga agrees that it is good, and they stand there smiling and not wanting to walk away, but it's dinner time and Daichi should go, so Suga reluctantly turns to leave.

"Wait, Suga?"

"Hmm?"

"This is a date, right? Did I say that?"

Suga wants very much to laugh, but Daichi looks so earnest, so legitimately concerned that Suga might not be on the same page as him. He could tease him now, but he doesn't have the heart. He really just wants to kiss those beautiful, broad cheekbones.

"I would be very disappointed if it was not a date," he says sincerely.

Daichi doesn't stop him when he turns to go this time, he just falls into step beside him and walks him to his uncle's door, their elbows brushing as they go. His voice is soft again when he says goodnight, then he smiles and leaves Suga to slip inside and press his hand to his chest in the dark, empty house.

If this is Daichi pre-date, Suga is not sure what exactly will become of his heart tomorrow night.

*

Friday goes by so unbearably slowly. Daichi is at work (Suga knows this because he peeked out his window when Daichi usually leaves, and watched him walk towards the bus stop. He was wearing slacks and a button-down that Suga would really like to see closer up.) and Suga has to put a conscious effort into not literally counting down the hours until 6:00.

At 5:00 he stands in his bedroom, his uncle's guest room, really, and analyzes everything hanging in the open closet. There isn't much. The best he can do is a pair of jeans that isn't ripped, and a soft, blue t-shirt. The jeans are snug, perhaps even more snug than he remembers them being. All the junk he ends up eating from spending so much time with Ryuu, he supposes. But when he studies his reflection in the bathroom mirror he looks like himself, and that seems right.

Daichi, when he comes to Suga's door at precisely 6:00, also looks like himself. The same open face, the same short, dark hair, but there's something different too. And it's not that for once he’s wearing jeans instead of baggy athletic shorts (black ones, they are doing something very distracting to his solid thighs), and a grey henley shirt that Suga can't even deal with right now. It’s something else, something intangible.

Something about the way he tucks his hands in his pockets, the way he almost seems to be leaning forward without actually taking a step. It's nerves and anticipation, the wonder of being on the precipice of something new. It's everything Suga is feeling, too.

They walk slowly through the neighborhoods together, making their way to a park where a movie will be playing on a large screen set up in the grass. Daichi tells stories about his day at work, about how he still hasn't quite figured out the fax machine there, and doesn't understand why anyone is still sending faxes anyway.

"Tell your dad I know a guy back home who trains carrier pigeons, if they'd like to explore that option instead," Suga says.

Daichi laughs softly, then his pace slows and Suga turns his head slightly to see Daichi looking at him.

"What?"

"Nothing," Daichi says. Then a few paces later, "I'm glad you're here."

Suga just smiles.

They get to the park and find a spot to settle down on the outskirts of the crowd, at the base of a dogwood tree. Daichi apologizes for forgetting to bring a blanket along, but this is just perfect. The grass is dry and warm after a long day in the sun, though the sky is deepening now as the last, low rays sink behind the trees.

They sit with their legs stretched out in front of them, one of Daichi's crossed over the other. His thighs really are...something to behold. And his eyes are so dark now, the glow from the movie casting bright spots of light on them when Suga watches him out of the corner of his eye, instead of paying attention to what's on the screen.

He misses most of the movie. Maybe all of it, if he's being honest. He catches every one of Daichi's breaths though, every shift and pull of muscle when he moves, planting his hands in the grass behind him and leaning back like Suga is. He feels it almost before it happens when, after shifting slightly once more, Daichi's hand comes down close enough that the back of his thumb brushes Suga's.

Suga turns to him and he is staring directly at the screen, eyes too wide. He doesn't even seem to blink until Suga links his thumb with the other boy’s, and then his shoulders relax and the corner of his mouth turns up just the tiniest bit.

They stay this way the rest of the movie, even as Suga's arms get tired and sore. There is nothing that could make him give up almost holding Daichi's hand. They’re slow to rise when the film ends and people begin clearing away their blankets and the remains of snacks and drinks. They take their time, wandering around the park instead of heading straight for home.

They still don’t actually hold hands, but Daichi’s shoulder is always right there, brushing against Suga’s. Every glancing bit of contact makes Suga’s breath catch.

Eventually they end up back at the same tree after circling around a few times, but now the park is almost empty, the last people left are too far away to make out faces or words. “Can we stay out, just a little longer?” Daichi asks, and Suga nods.

Daichi leans against the tree and looks up.

Suga can’t take how beautiful he looks under the stars. The strong line of his lifted jaw, his eyes open and earnest like they always are, drinking in the endless sky above them. Suga steps toward him, he presses a hand to his chest, right over Daichi’s heart, and Daichi’s eyes fall to his in an instant.

“Suga…” he says, his hand coming up to cover Suga’s.

Suga doesn’t answer. He’s busy watching Daichi’s lips and counting the beats of his heart as they quicken under his palm. He is absolutely drowning in the feeling of Daichi’s hand cupping his.

“I…”

Suga steps closer, the inside of his wrist and forearm against Daichi now too, their faces so close together Suga feels his own heart go tight in his chest.

“Wait...please,” Daichi whispers.

Suga waits. He does not pull away.

“I don’t...I’ve never...”

“I haven’t either,” Suga tells him. That’s not true though, technically, so he elaborates. “Not really. Someone kissed me at camp last year, but it was awkward and unwanted and...” He lets his head tip forward a little more, so his temple rests against Daichi’s. “I think the first kiss you _want_ is what really counts.”

Daichi breathes in and out, slowly and carefully. His heart is racing. “I _want_ to kiss you.”

“Good,” Suga breathes. He turns his head until his nose brushes Daichi’s cheekbone, he bumps it gently against the side of his nose, the corner of his mouth. They’re so close, and Daichi’s hand is so tight around his.

“But I don’t…”

Oh no, not _don’t._ Not anything but _do,_ and _will,_ and _yes._

“I don’t know if we should.”

Suga stifles the childish whine that bubbles up and finally takes a step back. “Why not?” he asks, taking care to not let it sound petulant.

Daichi squeezes his hand and sits down in the grass that’s still pressed flat from earlier, pulling Suga down with him.

“I like you,” he says.

Suga smiles. “This is usually one of the reasons people decide kissing would be a good idea.”  

Daichi smiles too, but it’s traced through with something wistful, something a little anxious. Suga’s hand is still in his, and he threads their fingers together.

“I like you a _lot,_ and I’m worried about how much more I’ll like you if we…”

“It’s just a kiss, Daichi,” Suga says.

“Is it, though? How long would we be able to stop at that?”

Suga’s cheeks burn at the honesty and intensity in Daichi’s voice. He doesn’t know how long he would be able to, he doesn’t know that he would even try.

“We wouldn’t have to rush anything,” he says. “We have the whole rest of summer break.”

Daichi’s expression is pained now. _“Right,_ we have summer break, and then you’ll go back home and I’ll...Suga...I think it will be too hard.”

This brings Suga up short. He hasn’t thought about this, has only been thinking about the present. About Daichi’s patience and humility, and the way his laugh seems to fill spaces in Suga he didn’t know existed. On the rare occasions that he _has_ thought about going home, he has never once thought that his return would mean Daichi disappearing from his life.

But it’s true. However much Daichi already is to him and whatever he becomes, in a little over two weeks they will be saying goodbye. Suga already doesn't know how he’ll handle that when it comes. And if thinking about it makes Daichi’s face look this way, makes him worried enough that he’s saying words now that are clearly not making him any happier than they’re making Suga, he won’t push him. He won’t make him feel bad for saying no, or press him into anything that he’ll regret. No matter how badly he wants to just cover Daichi’s mouth with his and kiss him until he forgets to worry about anything.

“I understand,” he says, nodding.

“Really?” Daichi asks. “I don’t...I don’t want to stop seeing you. I want to spend time with you...like this, not just with Ryuu. I just...”

“I know,” Suga says. He forces a smile that he’s almost certain is believable, even though his disappointment is so heavy he feels it pulling him down into the cool grass. “It’s okay, I want to spend time with you, too. It doesn’t matter how we spend it.”

That part, at least, is true. He wants to spend it doing so many things, but any time he’s with Daichi is infinitely better than any time he is not, even if he’s just watching Daichi get the knots out of Ryuu’s shoelaces.

Daichi smiles, and Suga knows keeping down the things he wanted to say was the right choice _(So what if it hurts, it would be worth it)_ , because the smile is genuine, relieved.

“Okay,” he says. “Good.”

“Do you want to head back?” Suga asks.

“No.”

Suga has to take a moment to accept that he is going to sit here in a now vacant park with Daichi right next to him, smelling like pressed grass and longing, and not do anything more than refuse to let go of his hand.

He does it. He finds something else to talk about, something that doesn’t involve lips almost close enough to taste, and his disappointment sifts away because this...this isn’t just a consolation prize. It’s not just better than nothing. This quiet conversation, Daichi’s thumb rubbing circles on his palm, is still something so rich that Suga almost feels dizzy with it.

Suga has never been in love, he can’t compare what he’s feeling now to anything in the past, but he finds it hard to believe that this is anything other than what it feels like when you start to fall.  

Eventually the air turns truly cool and Daichi helps Suga to his feet so they can begin walking home. When the other boy starts to lag behind Suga almost slows, thinking he must be getting tired, but when he glances over his shoulder he sees the way Daichi’s eyes snap up to his face. He can just make out the darkening of Daichi’s cheeks in the low light between street lamps.

“Daichi,” he says, keeping his voice light. “Do I have something on my ass again?”

“No! I mean, I don’t know!” Daichi sputters. “I wasn’t...”

Yes he was. They both know it. Suga walks back to take Daichi’s hand (he’s finding it physically uncomfortable at this point to _not_ be touching Daichi after touching him all night) and pull him along beside him.

“I don’t mind,” he says.

“It’s just those _pants._ You look…they’re so…”

“Are they too tight?” Suga asks.

 _“No.”_ Daichi shakes his head emphatically and Suga giggles. “They’re perfect. _You_ are—”

He swallows suddenly and doesn’t finish his thought. Suga doesn’t need him to.

They don’t kiss when Daichi walks him to his door. They don’t touch anywhere other than their hands that are still clasped together. Suga simultaneously wants more, and wants nothing more.

His heart seems to be pounding even harder now, with Daichi quietly saying goodnight, squeezing his hand once before letting go and turning to walk home, than it did when he thought they were going to kiss at the park.

Maybe Daichi was right. Maybe this is already almost more than he can take.

Suga falls asleep thinking of moonlight filtered by wide, soft leaves. Of dark eyes and strong hands.

He wakes to the sound of tapping.

It’s still dark, and the air is thick with that heavy, hushed feeling that greets you if you find yourself awake and alone in the middle of the night. But still, the tapping continues. Suga blinks and sits up, following the sound to his window. He gets out of bed and draws the curtain aside, still half asleep and too hazy to consider that there might be any reason to be alarmed instead of just vaguely curious.

He doesn’t need to be alarmed, but he is still surprised when he sees Daichi right there on the other side of the glass. Suga pulls the window open, and then slides the screen aside, too, so there’s nothing between them. Just Suga in his room, and Daichi in the perpetually trampled flower bed outside his window.

“Daichi...what—”

He doesn’t have time for another word before Daichi’s hands are in his hair, tugging him forward as Daichi leans in to meet him in the middle, and the breath that might have formed the word “are” is lost against Daichi’s lips.

They don’t move. There are no expert or inexpert attempts at mimicking the kisses they’ve seen in movies. Their lips are touching and their breath is mingling, and if this alone isn’t enough to set fireworks spontaneously exploding in the sky then Suga doesn’t know what would be.

When Daichi withdraws they stare at each other, speechless. Daichi unconsciously licks his lips, Suga raises shaking fingertips to his.

“I had to kiss you,” Daichi says. His hands are still in Suga’s hair, his fingers slipping through it when Suga nods.

“Just once?” he asks.

“No.”

They’re still so close, both leaning over the window frame, that neither of them has to move far for their mouths to connect again.

This time they’re a little braver. Suga tilts his head, Daichi kisses him once, and then again, and again. Each one is as soft as the last, but something about his lips pressing against Suga’s, then opening slightly before returning, moist and warm, makes Suga brace his weight on the windowsill, his legs going weak.

“I think,” Daichi says when he pulls back again, “we can handle just kissing?”

“Yes,” Suga says quickly. He doesn’t need to think about it. Daichi was wrong when he said they shouldn’t kiss, and Suga was wrong when he thought he’d need more. How could he possibly need more than this?

Daichi grins then, all the hesitancy and uncertainty lost to a wide smile and sparkling eyes. His hands drop to fold over Suga’s as he leans in to kiss him once more, smiling against his lips.

“Goodnight,” he says.

Suga knows that he must have said goodnight, too. He must have closed the window and walked back to his bed and crawled under the covers. But all he can remember now as he lies in bed, wide-eyed and awake and possibly shivering, is the feeling that had overwhelmed him the moment Daichi kissed him. The feeling not of falling, but of taking flight. The air pressed from his lungs and his head spinning as the ground fell away from his feet, and he didn’t drop, didn’t plummet. He rose.

He doesn’t know, really, if Daichi was right or wrong, he only knows that it doesn’t make a difference. If you’re given wings, you don’t turn around and hand them back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! And a constant stream of thanks to [Esselle](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Esselle), editor and cheerleader extraordinaire ♥
> 
> ([Tumblr](http://ellessey-writes.tumblr.com/))


	2. Chapter 2

Suga and Daichi spend the next week figuring out all the ways and places they can kiss.

Saturday night is much like Friday, except Suga doesn't have to wait until after he's gone to bed for a goodnight kiss. After an evening spent sharing dinner and then wandering through town, Daichi lets go of Suga's hand only to rest both of his on Suga's waist. Somehow this is even better than when they'd been in his hair the night before. Maybe because when Daichi kisses him—more confidently this time, his tongue pressing at the seam of Suga’s lips and Suga opening them willingly—he holds Suga tighter and Suga's shirt becomes bunched up in his grip. And when Daichi slides his hands around to Suga's back they're flush against his skin now, warm and wide and firm.

By the next night they are well aware of how much they can do with their tongues. Suga knows that when Daichi runs his just behind Suga's teeth, lightly skimming the roof of his mouth, a shiver will inevitably dance its way up his spine. He knows that if he sucks gently on Daichi's tongue, he’ll earn a low sound in the other boy’s throat that makes it difficult not to attempt something that will let him hear more.

By Monday they're back to Daichi working, and Ryuu’s constant presence when he's not. But there's a brief moment on Tuesday afternoon when Ryuu has his head buried in a plastic bin of outdoor toys, trying to find a specific dump truck. Daichi uses his distraction to bring Suga's wrist to his mouth and trace the paths of blue veins under translucent skin with his tongue, before sucking at the delicate flesh. Then he drops it quickly just before Ryuu emerges, leaving Suga flushed and startlingly aroused. Perhaps from the fact that Daichi just _did_ that, out in the open and three feet away from Ryuu, more so than how it felt. Though it felt like there was a direct link between the suction of Daichi's mouth on his wrist and the ache throbbing low in Suga's abdomen now, so maybe it was very much both things.

On Thursday they take Ryuu to the park and Suga accidently, really very on purpose, throws the little foam football they're playing with way off course.

“I’ll get it!” Ryuu shouts, hurtling towards the thatch of trees at the park’s edge where the ball disappeared.

“Your aim is abysmal,” Daichi says.

“My aim is impeccable,” Suga corrects. Then he presses the tip of his tongue into the soft, tender spot beneath the corner of Daichi's jaw, and Daichi gasps. His hands find Suga’s hips and tighten there while Suga kisses below his ear, nibbling at his earlobe next (because they've also begun to discover how useful teeth are), and then pushing Daichi away when he hears the brush of a small body approaching through the trees.

“You’re _sneaky,_ " Daichi says after Ryuu has returned and is waiting for another toss. His eyes are bright and...hungry? “And you cheat,” he adds, lifting a hand to the wet print of Suga's lips behind his ear.

“We’re on the same team, aren't we?” Suga asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No!” Ryuu cries. “Suga-nii, you're on _my_ team! Dai-nii doesn't get a team, he's too good.”

Suga laughs. “Then what does that make me?”

“Not as good,” Ryuu says with a shrug.

“Better,” Daichi says, too low for Ryuu to hear.

By Friday after dinner, when the three of them are sitting on Ryuu's front stoop, Daichi still in his work clothes (they are extremely problematic...so flattering and _fitted,_ Suga can't even look at him), Suga is beginning to feel like he's going to explode.

The kissing is wonderful. It's exciting, and _good,_ and it could probably keep Suga happy for the rest of his life, if he wasn't well aware of the fact that there could be _more._ If every time Daichi opened Suga's mouth with his own, pressing his tongue inside, hot and insistent, Suga didn't get flushed just thinking about what else he could be doing. How much more he could make Suga feel.

He does not want to push Daichi, but _oh,_ how he would love just a little something more.

He’s busy steadfastly not thinking about that, and _not_ looking at Daichi's legs in those dark grey slacks, when Ryuu distracts him with a loud groan.

“It's so hoooot,” he whines. And then, as if it is the most natural thing to do, he pulls off his shirt and tosses it into the grass.

“Ryuu-kun, no,” Daichi says, not looking remotely fazed. “We wear clothes, you know that.”

“ _Why?_ Why does anyone need to wear clothes?”

“Good question,” Suga says. Daichi kicks his foot.

“Do not encourage this little nudist.”

“I didn't know you had a problem with nudity, Daichi,” Suga says innocently.

“I…I _don't!_ I mean, I...it depends on...there's a _time_ and a _place_ for everything,” he finishes sternly, ostensibly to Ryuu.

“Very wise,” Suga says, nodding. “Ryuu-kun, listen to Daichi-sama and put your shirt on. We don't want to make him uncomfortable.”

Daichi glares at him. Suga flashes him a brilliant smile.

“Fine,” Ryuu grumbles. “But tomorrow is gonna suck, everyone says it’s gonna be even hotter.”

“Don't say _suck,_ your mother expects me to be a good example for you.”

Ryuu looks sincerely perplexed. “But you let me eat way too much sugar, and yesterday I heard you say ‘fuck’.”

“Ryuu-kun!” Daichi’s eyes are bulging.

Suga has to press both hands to his mouth to contain himself, but he may emit a small squeak in his attempt to keep from laughing out loud.

“I didn't say that!”

“You did,” Suga says helpfully from behind his hands, his voice a little high and choked sounding. “When you sat down and put your hand right in duck poop.” The last word is lost slightly as it splinters into helpless giggles.

Daichi just stares at him, hunched over on the step and wheezing now, and then he rolls his eyes and smiles, waiting patiently for Suga to collect himself. It takes a while, especially because Ryuu is wailing with laughter too. Probably just because Suga is, or perhaps because the memory of Daichi's repulsed expression as he tried to wipe his hand clean in the grass is as genuinely hilarious to Ryuu as it is to Suga.

Suga would feel bad, but Daichi's long-suffering expression is so precious, so tinged with fondness, that he knows he doesn't need to.

He gets himself under control, and Ryuu does, too, but then the boy is jumping back to his feet, wild-eyed and vibrating with some sudden, barely-contained excitement.

"The beach!" he cries. "We could go to the beach tomorrow! That's a time and place you can take off your shirt and it's okay, right?"

Suga snorts, he can't help it. Then he risks a look at Daichi, and the mirth that was bubbling up in him again is cut off completely, dried up in the heat of the look Daichi is directing at him right now. His gaze starting somewhere around Suga's throat and sweeping slowly down, so heavy Suga can _feel_ it over his chest, his stomach, all the way down his legs stretched out in front of him, and back again.

 _"Dai-niiiii,_ can we?" Ryuu asks again.

"Yes," Daichi says, his eyes locked on Suga's. "That's an excellent idea, Ryuu-kun."

"Excellent," Suga echoes. Or he means to. His throat has become awfully dry all of a sudden.

"Yes!" Ryuu crows, dancing around the yard before throwing himself into a crooked, bent over cartwheel.

Suga would probably do the same if he wasn't feeling distinctly weak-kneed at the moment.

"We'll have to leave early," Daichi says, his eyes on Ryuu, his fingers trailing down Suga's spine.

"That won't be a problem," Suga says. He probably won't even sleep.

*

Daichi and Ryuu are waiting outside for Suga at 6:00 am, as promised. There's still a chill in the early morning air, but Daichi is dressed in orange shorts and a loose, white tank top, and Suga has to forbid himself from thinking about how he’ll look with that tank top off, because this is already almost unbearable. It’s _cute_ , it's too cute. It does not help that he’s also wearing a backpack, heavy with snacks and toys for Ryuu, and carrying a large canvas bag stuffed with neon-colored beach towels.

“Carry my buckets!” Ryuu says, thrusting a bright green bucket with smaller buckets nested inside it towards Suga.

“Please,” Daichi says.

“Please!”

Suga takes the buckets. He smiles at Daichi. Daichi is already smiling at him.

They take the train to the nearest beach, Ryuu talking a mile a minute the entire time, Suga and Daichi sitting so close their thighs are pressed together. Suga could make a compelling argument for never getting off this train.

Eventually they arrive though, and the sun has already heated up the ground, so it feels perfect and warm when they drop their things and run barefoot across it to the cool, firm sand disappearing under the tide.

“Yes!” Ryuu hoots, ripping off his shirt and whipping it in a circle above his head. “I love the beach!”

Daichi laughs and takes Ryuu’s shirt, throwing it behind them to land near their things. “I’m glad you're happy, buddy,” he says. And then in one fluid motion, just like that, he strips his own shirt off and tosses it, too.

The tossing, really, was too much.

All of it, so much of Daichi’s body on display at once, is already enough to send Suga into cardiac arrest (his back...sweet lord, his back), but then the _toss._ The movement and stretch of muscle working under golden, tanned skin. Suga is not sure if he's actually still standing here, or if his body remains but his soul has already ascended.

“You ready to swim?” Daichi asks, as if Suga has not just undergone the most erotic experience of his life.

“Yes!” Suga says. (Squeaks, actually. He totally squeaks.)

He turns around, using some inhuman force of will he previously did not know he possessed, so he is not facing Daichi, and then lifts his own shirt to pull it over his head.

He can't look at Daichi, not yet. Not when Suga's own upper body could only just qualify as _toned,_ and certainly not _cut_ like Daichi's. Not when he is fair and smooth and altogether nothing special. He busies himself pulling out their towels and spreading them across the sand. He puts bottles of water on the corners to keep them in place. He could probably find more things to do, but he realizes that it has gotten quiet behind him. Ryuu's shouting is mingled with splashing now, he's already in the water. But Daichi…

Suga stands and turns around. Daichi is behind him, lips parted and eyes so wide he almost looks frightened.

“Daichi?”

“I’m...I’m just...”

Suga isn't sure what to think. He wishes Daichi would say more, but in the absence of that, he'll try to diffuse the tension a little.

“Is this not the right time or place?” he asks lightly.

“No,” Daichi says, not lightly at all. “Because you look like _that,_ and I can't get you alone and...”

And what? Oh God, and what.

“Maybe that's for the best then?” he suggests weakly. They _are_ supposed to just be kissing, after all. What they've done is already going to be nearly impossible to walk away from. If they do anything else, Suga can't even bear to think about how much harder it will get.

“Yeah,” Daichi says, his voice low, his eyes drifting down to where Suga's swim shorts sit low on his slim hips. “Yeah, maybe....Let's go swim, okay?”

Suga agrees. He follows close behind Daichi. He clenches his fists so he won't lift a hand and slide it down the middle of that broad back. So he won't press his thumbs into the dimples just above Daichi's shorts.

The cold ocean water is exactly what he needs right now.

It does help, a bit. Maybe only because now that they're in the water they can touch and it's okay. It doesn't mean anything. They're just playing and wrestling with Ryuu, and each other. There's nothing intimate about Daichi grabbing him around the waist from behind while Suga chokes on laughter and saltwater, only half struggling to get away before Daichi tosses him into the spray just like he did to Ryuu. Even if it manages to still feel intimate anyway.

And it's purely innocent fun when Suga jumps on Daichi's back and they both howl madly, splashing after Ryuu and pretending to be a two-headed sea monster.

Mostly innocent. The fact that his legs are wrapped around Daichi's waist isn't exactly lost on him.

Eventually they’re completely drained by the roughhousing and the sun, and all three of them collapse on their towels. Less than two minutes later Ryuu is back up again, digging toys out of the backpack and running in circles around them making airplane noises.

Suga and Daichi don't touch, they can't now, even though they are so close together. Beads of water are still scattered over Daichi's skin, dripping from his black hair. It is actual torture for Suga to just let the sun slowly dry it instead of using his hands, his lips, his anything to help. From the way Daichi keeps looking at him out of the corner of his eye, Suga suspects he is feeling similarly tormented.

When they're mostly dry they pull snacks from their bag, which then have to be supplemented by lunch bought from a little shop just up from the beach, and then they return to the shore to build castles, to bury Ryuu, to somehow resist the temptation to brush sand off of each other's skin.

It's midafternoon and they have just finished eating ice-cream when Ryuu stops walking suddenly, screwing up his little face and announcing, "I think I ate too much."

"You ate too much before the last two snacks," Daichi points out. "It's a wonder you haven't already thrown up."

"Daichi," Suga says mildly, reaching out to rub Ryuu's shoulder. He’s right though, Suga is a little surprised as well. " _Do_ you feel like throwing up?" he asks the boy, who is now clutching his stomach.

"No...I think...I think I just gotta poop."

Daichi closes his eyes, as if he can just separate himself from this situation entirely. Suga bites his lip and decides to refrain from being helpful, because he wants to see how Daichi will handle this.

In the end, Daichi simply takes a deep breath, opens his eyes again, and nods. "Alright. There's a bathroom this way, let's go."

They walk along the path in the direction of a little hut containing two restrooms. It sits next to an empty picnic table and the beginnings of a small grove of trees at the edge of the beach. They're halfway there when there's a sudden whir of wheels at their backs and two guys go careening past them on skateboards, almost knocking into Ryuu. A moment later one more comes tearing after them on foot and bumps right into the little boy, sending him sprawling over the coarse pebbles of the trail.

Before Suga can even blink Daichi is crouched beside Ryuu, lifting him to his feet and looking him over quickly and carefully, before turning to the retreating backs of the young men and shouting, "Hey, stop!"

They don't stop, and Suga thinks that will be it, but then Daichi is on his feet again and running after them.

 _No,_ Suga thinks. _There are three of them, just let it go._ But Daichi has already caught up to the man on foot, the one with a purple mohawk, and is grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around.

"I said _stop,_ ” Daichi says, his voice low, but so deep and, honestly, scary, that Suga can easily hear it from where he stands.

"What's your problem?" Mohawk asks, trying and failing to step out of the grip Daichi still has on his shoulder. The guy's friends have stopped and turned to see what’s happening, but haven't come back for him yet.

"You knocked that kid down, did you not notice?" Daichi says, using his free hand to gesture towards Ryuu, who is now pressing himself against Suga's side and sniffling quietly. His voice is _so_ controlled that it only makes it more obvious that there is something that _needs_ to be controlled. That the firm grip he has on Mohawk's shoulder could easily become more.

"It was an accident, man...I was just trying to catch up to my friends."

"I asked you if you noticed," Daichi says.

"Dude, what the hell? Yes, I noticed. He's fine, isn't he?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself when you go and apologize, like any decent human being would after knocking a seven year old child over?" Daichi says. You could call it a suggestion, you could almost call it pleasant, if it weren't for the way Daichi's eyes are boring holes into Mohawk's head when he says it.

Suga just stands there, his arm around Ryuu. He would almost be alarmed by how debilitatingly commanding he finds Daichi right now, if he couldn't see that he is not the only one affected. The man's friends haven't moved an inch, not showing any inclination to help their friend or argue with Daichi. Mohawk himself looks like he's a moment away from wetting his pants if Daichi says one more word in that eerily calm voice.

"Yeah, yeah, fine," he says, walking with Daichi back to where Suga and Ryuu stand. "Hey, kid...I'm sorry about that. You okay?"

"Yes," Ryuu says firmly. "I'm really strong."

"Okay, that's...good? Can I...?" Mohawk looks to Daichi and Daichi nods once.

Mohawk hightails it out of there, catching up with his friends and disappearing around the bend in the path. And Suga...

Suga is hard. There's no way around it, nothing to do but admit that Daichi scaring the shit out of those punks and protecting Ryuu was quite possibly the hottest thing he has ever seen. He would be embarrassed about it, but honestly, he can't even blame himself. He would defy anyone to witness how utterly terrifying and _intense_ Daichi was, and then the way the fire immediately faded from his eyes as he stooped to talk quietly to Ryuu, and _not_ be aroused.

He can only hope it will fade before it gets worse, that no one will notice. He follows Daichi and Ryuu as they walk the rest of the way to the bathroom. He watches as Daichi ducks inside to make sure it's empty, and then sends Ryuu in, promising that he and Suga will be right outside. He exercises extreme self control for all of three seconds when Daichi comes to lean against the outside of the restroom with him, and then Suga gives in. He is on Daichi in one quick motion, wrapping his arms around his neck and attacking him with kisses. His hips are pressed right against Daichi and he _knows_ Daichi can feel him, and he does not care.

"Suga!" Daichi says, grasping Suga's shoulders and pushing him back enough for them to look at each other.

Suga doesn't say anything, he doesn't move. He will stop if Daichi asks him to, but if he doesn't...

He doesn't. He looks at his hands on Suga's bare skin and seems to be frozen for a moment—as if he is just now registering what’s happening, what could be happening with the few minutes of privacy Ryuu's pit stop has granted them—and then he's yanking Suga back into himself, spinning them both so it's Suga's back against the wall now. It's Daichi who is gripping Suga's hips and pulling them against his own, Daichi who is kissing him so hungrily that it's all teeth and tongue and nothing like they've done before.

This is not the same. This is not just kissing. Not when their skin is bare and pressed together from hip to chest, not when Daichi's hands are leaving his waist to drag down his back and then over his ass, squeezing and kneading it as he sucks the dried saltwater from Suga's neck.

And really, really not when Daichi uses his grip on Suga's ass to press him hard against his own hips as he rolls them, grinding his cock against Suga's, and oh, oh this is already worth it. It's already worth however much harder it makes Suga leaving, because Daichi _wants_ him. He's so hard, and so rough as he rocks into Suga, like he doesn't think for one second that Suga can't take it just because he's not as built as Daichi.

And Suga _can_ take it. He will gladly take everything Daichi gives him, he'll give anything Daichi wants to take.

He wants these damn swim shorts _off_ though. He wants skin on skin, hot and real. He wants this to be happening somewhere else where they could both undress right now and do everything they've been trying not to.

He wants...he's not sure, he loses track of it, of any thoughts, anything but the way his whole body is starting to tremble, and...

"Dai-nii?"

Daichi freezes, his cock still pressed against Suga's. Suga wants to cry. He prays that Ryuu is just making sure they're still there.

"Yeah, bud?" Daichi says, his voice rough and breathless.

"I need help," Ryuu's little voice says from inside the restroom.

Suga wilts. Daichi gives him one desperate look before releasing the bruising grip he'd had on Suga's ass and taking a step back.

"Okay...what—"

"I'm done, I think? But there's no toilet paper in here."

"He thinks?" Daichi asks.

Suga presses his lips together. He's not sure if this is as funny as it seems, or if he's just losing his mind because he was _so close_ , and judging by the way Daichi's rhythm had just begun to falter, he had been, too. And now there's just cool air on his skin and a boy who may or may not be finished pooping, but definitely needs toilet paper.

He doesn't even want to move, he's sore and wanting and so, so disappointed, but Daichi is still looking mildly horrified at the prospect of what awaits him in the bathroom, so Suga forces himself to be helpful.

He goes into the women's side of the restroom after calling to make sure it's not occupied, and collects a wad of paper for Daichi to take in to Ryuu. He does not ask about the situation inside, or how it took long enough for the two of them to almost get off. Daichi does not say. He just carries Ryuu out, their little neighbor clearly exhausted by the entire day, and they collect their things and walk back to the train station.

Ryuu sits between them this time, but that's alright, because the disappointment of Suga's pre-empted orgasm is fading now under the light of the simple fact that he _almost came_. With Daichi. _Because_ of Daichi.

He may not be touching the other boy now, but Suga has the memory of every moment of their day, every touch and look. He has the memory of every one of those last frantic minutes when Daichi held him so close, kissed him so desperately he felt like he might be consumed. He wanted to be.

Maybe it didn't end the way he'd hoped, but it was...amazing. Amazing to feel so wanted, and to want something, _someone_ , so badly that his body acted on its own.

It was probably too much, more than they said they would do, but Suga is so, so glad that he has it to hold on to.

The memory is still playing over in his mind as he lies in bed that night, after saying goodnight to Daichi with just a brush of Daichi's hand over his, because Ryuu was asleep in his arms.

He thinks about how forceful Daichi had been, how good it was, and how...substantial Daichi had felt, even through their shorts. Oh, if only Suga had been able to tug those shorts down, both of them. To wrap his hand around Daichi and have Daichi’s hands all over him.

He pulls his own shorts down now. They’re just thin, soft sleep shorts, but he’s already been palming himself through them for a while and he’s ready for more. He’s just running his thumb over the tip, feeling the wetness that has spread over it already, when there’s a rattling next to his bed, and he looks over to see his phone vibrating against the little table next to him, Daichi’s name on the screen.

Suga doesn’t hesitate, even with the situation he’s been caught in. He answers the call and presses the phone to his ear with his free hand.

“Daichi?”

“Suga…hey.”

“Hi,” Suga says. He wants to say more, but it’s probably best to stick to single words right now, since he hasn’t been able to get himself to stop moving his hand. “Everything...okay?”

“I’m sorry, I know it’s late. It’s just...about what happened earlier. I can’t...”

_No. Do not be calling now, in the middle of me jerking off to the thought of what happened earlier, to tell me that it shouldn’t have happened._

“I can’t stop thinking about it.”

 _Oh._ That's much better. Suga can work with that.

"I can't either," he says. "It's making it hard to sleep."

"Yeah, it's..."

"It's hard for you, too?" Suga asks when Daichi trails off. He doesn’t try to make it sound innocent. The exhilarating indecency of talking to Daichi while sliding his fist over his dick immediately goes to his head like a strong drink, making him brave and maybe a little foolish. He thinks it's worth the risk.

"I...what? To...to sleep?"

"Hmm," Suga hums noncommittally. Almost purrs.

"Yeah, I..." There's a pause, some shifting. “I just…” Daichi tries again, and there’s a catch in his voice now, an intake of breath following his words that doesn’t just happen in the middle of a normal conversation. “I wanted to hear your voice.”

“Me too,” Suga says. “I’m glad...I’m—” A little, breathy whine escapes him. He doesn’t mind. “I’m really glad you called.”

“Are you…” Daichi trails off and Suga can see him perfectly in his mind, the way he must be blushing, maybe closing his eyes, as he tries to figure out how to ask Suga if he’s touching himself right now.

“Yes,” Suga says. “I was thinking about you.”

Daichi doesn’t say anything, there’s just the muffled sound of a low groan, and Suga almost loses it right then because he can picture the rest of it, too. Daichi stretched out on his bed, legs spreading, cock growing flushed and hard because of Suga. His strong hand wrapped around himself, probably turning his face to press it into his pillow.

“Daichi. Let me hear you,” Suga says, his own hand starting to move faster now at the thought of Daichi doing the same.

There’s a shifting sound and then Daichi’s breathing is clearer in Suga’s ear. He closes his eyes and tries to imagine that there’s no phone in between, that he can feel each breath against his skin.

“I wanted…” Daichi breathes, and Suga bites his lip. He really only meant that he didn’t want Daichi to hide any sounds he made, but actually getting to hear him talk while this is happening? That’s icing on an already perfectly delicious cake.

He doesn’t keep going though, so Suga prods him gently. “What did you want? You can say anything, Daichi. I...I want so much with you.”

“I wanted...you felt so good and I wanted to _see_ you, all of you.”

“Anything...in particular?” Suga asks, letting go of himself so he can slow this down a little. He wants this to last.

There’s a pause, Suga’s mind paints a blush back on Daichi’s face, and then, “Suga...I have a really big thing for your ass.”

Suga knows this, after all the looks, and the way Daichi’s hands had been glued to it before Ryuu interrupted them, but he is almost embarrassingly pleased to hear him say it.

“I suspected,” Suga says.

“You knew,” Daichi says.

“I knew.”

“What about you?” Daichi asks. “What do you want?”

“Oh, Daichi…” Suga lets his hand brush over his cock again, but it’s not quite what he wants. Not when he has Daichi’s voice in his ear. “Everything, anything. I can’t get enough of you.”

This isn’t going to be enough either, but he’s needed this release all day and he’s going to make it as good it can be. He slips out of bed and reaches into the suitcase he’s left on the floor of his closet, digging past an old sweatshirt he hasn’t needed to wear yet, and finding the small, plastic bottle.

“I want…” he pauses, dripping lubricant onto his fingers. He’s back on the bed now and he rolls so he’s almost on his stomach, his cock pressed into the sheets, and one leg bent in front of him so he’s more open when he reaches behind himself. “I wanted to see you come...I wanted to know what you sound like.”

“You’ll hear me tonight,” Daichi says. Suga already knew this, too, but the reminder that Daichi is stroking himself right now, maybe imagining that it’s Suga touching him, makes him feel hot from head to toe. “Just...just pretend I’m there with you.”

“That’s... _oh_.” Suga pushes a finger inside himself. He knows Daichi’s would be bigger, blunter, infinitely more satisfying, but he imagines that it’s his anyway. “That’s what I’m doing.”

"Me...me too. Suga..."

"Hmm?" Suga is working his finger in and out now, eager to put another in, to really feel like Daichi is stretching him.

"I love the sounds you make."

 _Well, that's good_ , Suga thinks. Because Daichi is going to be hearing a lot more, as soon as...

 _"Ahh."_ The second finger is a stretch this soon, probably too soon. Suga doesn't care. "I love the way your hands feel on me. I loved how rough you were, at the beach."

Daichi makes a little sound, muffled again. Then his voice comes back clearly. "I did too...the way you jumped on me."

Suga pulls his fingers out and the ache eases, but the emptiness isn't better. He pushes them back in and gasps. " _Ah._..Daichi. I always want to jump on you."

"I wish..." Daichi stops.

"I know...I do, too," Suga says. If he had a million wishes they would all be the same. He'd wish for more time. For them to have known each other longer, to have all the time in the world to build up to what they want to do, and to not have an inevitable separation ahead of them. "We can talk about it though, even if we can't...if we shouldn't do it."

"I don't..." Daichi is breathing heavily now and Suga thinks he would spare one wish to be able to see him. Thinking about it—about how Daichi's cock is probably slick now, how maybe he's lifting his hips, fucking into his hand and imagining that he's fucking into Suga—sends Suga's hips moving harder, pushing down into the bed to drag friction against his cock, then back sharply onto his hand. "I don't think I can do much more talking."

Suga's not sure he can either. He wishes his fingers could reach deeper, he wishes that he wasn't the one in control of the pace, the pressure. Maybe he doesn't know what he would do with all his wishes after all. He just knows that he wants Daichi so badly he can barely breathe now.

"You don't have to... _oh God._ " Suga is glad the hand holding his phone is pressed between his ear and the pillow, because he's trembling now. Fingering himself has never felt like this before. The image of what Daichi is doing, of what he could be doing to Suga, makes every thrust of his own fingers feel like a revelation. _"Daichi_."

"Suga, I'm...I'm close." Daichi's voice has dropped to a rough whisper. So perfect, so _sexy_ , it makes Suga's cock throb harder. "I wish you were here."

Suga tries to speak but he just mewls instead, curling his fingers and wishing he had another hand free to grab onto the sheets with.

"Suga..."

"I'm here. I'm here...just...imagine you're in me when you come, and I'll be imagining it's you inside me now."

"In...side? Suga, you're—"

Suga is almost gone, it's harder to hear Daichi, with the rushing in his ears, his hips jerking frantically between the bed and his hand.

"Oh fuck," Daichi gasps. "Suga, _fuck_."

Daichi doesn't cover his mouth this time, he just groans, deep and long right into the phone, and Suga can picture this, too. The way he's probably shaking, hips shuddering against his hand, imagining that he's spilling inside of Suga instead of over his own skin, and Suga is really gone now, his orgasm hitting him so hard he does have to press his mouth to his pillow. Even then he knows Daichi will hear him, the high cry that leaves him as his body quakes, pressing uncontrollably back into his hand, his mind so muddled by the heat gripping him that part of him almost believes it's Daichi filling him, riding out his release.

He wants to say something, when he's not trembling anymore. He _really_ wants to not need to say anything, to just collapse on Daichi and let the rise and fall of his chest rock him as he drifts into sleep.

"Suga?"

"Mm...I'm here."

"I...that was, intense?"

"Yes," Suga agrees.

"I'm gonna...I might fall asleep, really soon. But I'm not hanging up, okay?"

"Me neither." Suga can't get up and deal with the sheets, so he rolls onto his other side and moves his phone to press it between his face and the pillow again.

"Okay."

"Okay."

He doesn't last long, but he gets to hear Daichi's soft sigh as he shifts in his bed, and then his breaths, deep and even. It's not the same as being right next to him, but it is very, very good. Right now, Suga can't think of a better way to fall asleep.

*

Suga wakes up sticky and a little sore, his phone still in his hand but dead now, the battery having run out sometime in the night. He touches his cheek and feels the imprint left by the hard plastic shell, and at some point he must have turned the other way in bed because the mess that was contained to the sheets there has now dried over his hip. But for all of that, he doesn't think he's ever felt as happy first thing in the morning as he does right now.

By the time he has gotten cleaned up and had a quick, solitary breakfast, because his uncle even works Sundays, he can hear Ryuu’s voice coming in through the open windows, and the telltale clatter of his little red scooter bouncing along the street.

Suga wonders if Daichi is out there. He wonders what it will be like when he sees him, if something will have changed. Will it be awkward? Different somehow?

He doesn't want to wait to find out. They only have a week left and he’s not going to waste a moment of it.

Daichi seems to feel the same way. It's early still, but just as Suga is stepping out his front door, his eyes already on Daichi's house, Daichi's door opens, too. They meet each other in the middle of the street and it _is_ different. Something has changed. But it's not that Daichi looks regretful or uncomfortable, it's that as soon as they're in front of each other he reaches out and takes Suga's hand, just squeezing it with his eyes locked on Suga's, and Suga knows what the difference is. They're closer now. Something like what happened the night before can either cause a wedge to form, or a connection to build, and Suga feels like connections have been springing up between the two of them since the first minute he saw Daichi.

He has to think for a moment, to focus and count the days, because it can't possibly have only been...three weeks? Can that be right? A month ago he didn't even know Daichi existed, and now he sees him and every nerve in his body ignites. He is a tree strung with lights, a night sky painted with stars. He is _alive,_ and it's because of this boy who wanted to hold his hand the moment he saw him. Who is holding it so tightly now that Suga knows the press of his palm is meant to convey all the things he can’t say right now, here in the road between Daichi’s home and the house that Suga will have to leave in seven days.

 _Oh God,_ he thinks. _It's already too late._

It doesn't matter what they do or don't do together. It doesn't _matter_ that it's only been three weeks, because what is time to a heart? What do days have to do with anything when you're flying this high and the sky is endless?

And if it _is_ already too late (it is, it definitely is), then why not see how close they can get to the stars?

"Hey," Daichi finally says.

"Good morning," Suga smiles. "You're out early."

"I have to work tonight, so I wanted to make sure I saw you before then."

"On a Sunday?” Suga knows he's whining just a little, but he wants every minute with Daichi. He wants to be alone with him, he wants to kiss him all over. Every part of him that he's seen, and the parts that he hasn't yet, too, while he still has a chance.

"Yeah...I know it sucks. There's some problem with a client, and I think they just want someone there to make coffee for everyone while they deal with it."

Suga purses his lips and raises an eyebrow. "Do you know _how_ to make coffee, Daichi? Because if it's anything like your lemonade..."

Daichi tugs Suga towards him with their joined hands, and then ruffles his hair. "That was _not_ my fault, other than my poor supervision of Ryuu-kun."

Suga could argue this, just for fun, but Daichi's hand has not left his hair. It goes still, and then moves again, not playfully this time, but tenderly, his fingers carding through the damp strands of Suga's silvery hair.

"Did you just shower?" Daichi asks, his voice low.

Suga can hear Ryuu's scooter approaching up the street. Not enough time, there's never enough time.

"Yeah," he nods, and Daichi swallows. His cheeks are touched with the slightest bit of pink now, but he doesn't drop his hand, doesn't look away or do anything to hide the fact that the thought of Suga in the shower has frozen him in place.

Suga's mind is flooded with so many things that he didn't even know he was dirty enough to think before. He wants Daichi to know that when he woke with a slight ache from his rough fingering he let himself think for a moment that it was Daichi who had opened him that way. And that he slept with the sticky aftermath of the orgasm Daichi's voice brought him to all over his skin. He wants him to know that when he washed it off in the shower all he could think about was how much more of a mess they could make together, and how they could take their time kissing each other clean again.

He doesn't say any of this, he just sucks on his lower lip so he won't suck on Daichi's, because Ryuu is almost there now and Daichi is letting go of Suga, letting his hand fall from his hair.

"Dai-niiii, what are we doing today?" Ryuu asks, swerving his scooter so he's parked right between Daichi and Suga, his feet planted on either side of it as he looks up at the dark-haired boy expectantly.

"Oh, um..." Daichi's eyes flicker between Suga and Ryuu. "Aren't your parents home today?"

"Yeah. So?" Ryuu says.

Suga knows what Daichi is thinking, he is thinking the same thing. Ryuu doesn't need a babysitter today, and Suga definitely needs to be with Daichi.

"Well, Suga and I were thinking of...hanging out, while you...spend time with your mom and dad."

Ryuu's face falls. Daichi's jaw (his _jaw_ , Suga needs to find time to kiss every bit of that jaw) is set, but Suga can tell by the sag of his shoulders that he hates to turn his little friend away. And as much as Suga loves every second he gets alone with Daichi, he loves that too.

"After we take Ryuu-kun to a movie, right?" Suga says.

He mentally pats himself on the back for making such an inspired, split-second decision. Daichi smiles and Ryuu hops around in excitement, and Suga thinks about how dark movie theaters are, how easy it will be for him to thread his fingers through Daichi's.

This is exactly what he does when they've settled into their seats, Daichi in the middle of their little trio. Their shared armrest is up and their clasped hands are pressed between Daichi's thigh and Suga's. It's not nearly enough, of course, but it's contact. And Suga gets a little more when Daichi crosses one of his legs so his ankle rests on his knee, and his raised leg conveniently blocks Ryuu's view. (This is probably unnecessary, because Suga is fairly certain Ryuu hasn't even blinked once since the movie began, much less looked away from the screen.) But it leaves Daichi feeling safe enough to brush his hand down Suga's thigh, then to run it back up again, letting his fingers catch at the hem of Suga's shorts and then slip under it.

Suga almost jumps at the touch, at the way Daichi leaves his fingers there, slowly pressing them up as high as he can, and this is...perhaps more than Suga bargained for. It was one thing having Daichi's hands on his bare arms and back at the beach, but his _thigh_ is different, so sensitive and so close to where Suga cannot stop thinking about Daichi's hands being.

Suga's shorts are too tight for him to get his hand higher than mid-thigh, but that is in no way preventing his touch from having a tortuously pleasurable effect on Suga. But when Daichi's fingers curve down to the inside of his thigh, managing to reach up just a little higher, Suga slaps his hand over Daichi's without meaning to because this is going _straight_ to his dick, and he can't spend the rest of the movie hard and unable to deal with it.

He looks over and sees the white flash of Daichi's grin and then his hand retreats, finding Suga's once more.

Suga grips the armrest on his other side to prevent himself from crawling in Daichi's lap right now and finding any way he can to make him come apart in the middle of this movie theater.

By the time they've dropped Ryuu off and have walked over to Suga's house, which is blissfully empty of course, Suga is ready to combust.

"You are terrible," he says, pushing Daichi in front of him towards his room. He probably wouldn't have a hope of moving him if Daichi didn't want to go, but he laughs and stumbles ahead of Suga, pushing the door open and then pressing Suga back against it as soon as it's closed behind them.

"It's not my fault," Daichi says, nipping at Suga's jaw, and then running the tip of his nose down his neck so when he speaks again, his breath is hot against the rise of Suga's shoulder. "I can't keep my hands off you."

Suga's hands clench in the front of Daichi's shirt and then he tugs at it, hard. "Off," he says. "Off, off, off."

Daichi chuckles and steps back to help Suga peel the shirt up over his chest and then tug it off completely.

 _This will never get old_ , Suga thinks, taking in the broad expanse of Daichi’s chest, the taut stomach, and then he's pushing Daichi again. Chasing after him until Daichi has fallen back onto Suga's bed and Suga is scrambling on top of him, is in his lap, just where he's wanted to be all day. He presses his hands flat against Daichi's stomach and pushes them up to his chest with as much pressure as he can, so he feels every ridge of muscle along the way. Daichi watches Suga's hands move over him, letting out a rough exhale that carries a soft groan with it, and then inhaling sharply when Suga thumbs hard over both his nipples.

"Daichi," he breathes, before dropping down to kiss him, to suck at his bottom lip and lick into his mouth. He tastes _so_ good, every time. His hands go straight to Suga's ass and Suga _moans_ just from that tight grip through his shorts, because maybe this time he'll reach inside, pull them all the way off and claim Suga's bare skin and—

There's a sudden, jarring blast of music and then Daichi is groaning into Suga's mouth, and it's not that low growl of pleasure that Suga remembers from their night on the phone. It's a vocalization of the same deep frustration Suga is feeling now, because it's Daichi's phone ringing.

"I'm sorry," he says, reaching under himself to pry his phone out of his back pocket. "I'm so sorry...it might be my dad, and—"

"No, of course," Suga says.

It is Daichi's dad, and he needs Daichi to come into the office now instead of two hours from now.

"I'm so—" Daichi starts to apologize again when they’ve left Suga’s room and are lingering by the front door.

"Nope," Suga says, pressing a finger to Daichi's lips. "It's not your fault."

"But—" Daichi's eyes are still dark and hungry, but his face is strained, guilty, and Suga won't have him feeling that way.

"Is it, Daichi? Did you set things up with your father ahead of time so he would interrupt us, and then drag you away to spend the day making mediocre coffee and pretending to know how to send faxes?"

Daichi's worry is smoothed away and he smiles, reaching to pinch Suga's nose gently. "I can make coffee."

"Of course you can," Suga says.

"You don't believe me."

"No." Suga kisses him, a light press of lips. "But I believe you think you can."

Daichi kisses him back, not very lightly at all. His hand coming up to wind into the back of Suga's hair as he opens Suga's mouth with his tongue, and then presses it inside, twisting to lick so deep that Suga almost feels like he's down his throat, and oh _God_ , he wants Daichi down his throat. Then he's withdrawing his tongue and fitting their lips right back together, before Suga has a chance to do more than gasp, like Daichi is trying to prove just how capable he is of making Suga breathless. If only they had all day for him to do just that.

"I'm going to show you," Daichi says when he pulls back, leaving Suga with his lips wet and swollen.

Suga's skin goes hot all over. He wonders how obvious it is that he's panting. "Okay," he says.

Daichi just looks at him with those dark eyes that seem to hold some kind of promise now. Then he kisses him once more, soft and light as Suga’s kiss had been, and leaves.

Suga waits until he's alone before he drops straight to the floor. It doesn't matter that he only has a week left here. Daichi is going to kill him before then anyway.

*

Suga does not end up meeting his demise over the next two days, only because he doesn't see Daichi at all. Monday and Tuesday are lost to whatever chaos is going on at Daichi's father's office. Suga doesn't really understand it, and Daichi obviously isn't concerned about it, because he fills those days spent apart with strings of text messages and emails to Suga.

It begins mostly with little things—jokes about his coworkers, and his own inability to ever trigger the sensor on the bathroom sink on the first try—but as the hours wear on, and Daichi is running out of things to do other than keep the coffee pot filled, the messages between them get longer, more involved. Stories about childhood friends and first nights away from home, snatches of words from favorite songs and sometimes just long pauses when Daichi has said something that makes Suga think, and he wonders if he could ever have enough time to get a glimpse of everything Daichi is inside.

He knows one more week won't even come close.

 _This is what it could be like_ , _though_ , he thinks. If this doesn't end. If they refuse to come back down to the ground when summer is over.

It’s not that bad. Suga doesn’t even mind that much that they’re not together because, really, they are.

It's late on Tuesday night and Daichi is still at work. He tells Suga he's sitting on the floor behind his desk so no one shoots him.

 **Suga  
** _what? Did this just become a hostage situation?_

 **Daich** **i**  
_everyone is angry...if they don't meet this deadline i think we're all gonna die._

 **Suga  
** _won't your dad protect you? Since you are clearly ill-equipped to protect yourself._

 **Daichi  
** _clearly_

 **Daichi  
** _I think..he would of course not let me die, but this summer has been kind of tense. working here has just made me even more sure that I don't want this to be what i do._

 **Daichi  
** _i don't want to work in an office like this and yell at people like he does._

 **Suga  
** _you said you were thinking of teaching, is that what you want to do?_

Daichi had mentioned it on one of their walks around the neighborhood with Ryuu, and even having only known Daichi for a few days at the time, it had made perfect sense to Suga.

 **Daichi  
** _I think, yeah. there's a great program in Tokyo but...it's not business school. i feel like it'll be kind of a slap in the face to my dad when he's always thought I would come work with him._

 **Daichi  
** _do you ever look at your parents and wonder what they think when they see you? Like is it disappointing to them that their kid didn't turn out like them?_

Suga thinks about his own father. So intense, so anxious, so internally focused. He's not sure how much he thinks about Suga at all, really.

 **Suga  
** _I don't know what my dad thinks, but i’m glad we get to go a different way if we want to. And you will be such a good teacher, daichi_

 **Daichi  
** _will be, huh?_

 **Suga  
** _If it's what you want to do then i know you'll make it happen._

 **Daichi  
** _and you think i'll be good?_

 **Suga  
** _Of course...you're so terrifying your students will never misbehave_

 **Daichi  
** _that's what i'm banking on_

Suga laughs, out loud in his quiet house, and then writes more, not teasing anymore, but sincere. Telling Daichi how much he admires the warmth and patience he shows to Ryuu, the calm, clear way he explains things to him, the way he guides him firmly when he needs to, but doesn't talk down to him.

 **Suga  
** _I'm not just saying this because i love the idea of you ending up in tokyo. it's because i love the idea of you getting to spend your life being *you*_

Daichi doesn't respond right away. Suga checks the time and decides he might as well be in bed as long as he's just sitting in his room anyway. He changes into soft shorts, leaving the same t-shirt on, and flips the covers back to settle over the cool sheets.

He's counting weeks in his head, trying to figure out how many will have to pass before another summer is coming to an end and college is ahead of them, and then his phone lights up with an incoming call instead of a message.

"Hi," Suga says.

"Let's spend the day together tomorrow," Daichi says.

"Of course," Suga answers quickly. This is what he was hoping for. What he needs, with so few days left. "You won't have to work?"

"No, the deadline is tonight, tomorrow I'm free. And Ryuu-kun's going to visit his grandparents."

"Oh." Suga did not know this. He feels like he's just woken up on Christmas morning and the floor is covered with gifts.

"I'll have you all to myself," Daichi says. His voice is low, almost too low to make out, probably because he's still at work. It makes goosebumps rise up all over Suga's arms.

"You'll...yes," Suga says.

"Early, okay?”

"Okay." Suga is breathless again. This isn't fair. That voice Daichi is using is _not_ fair.

"I'll make you coffee."

Suga is very glad he's already lying down. Maybe he will die today after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert....I will not let Suga die as a result of Daichi's hotness. I promise. Thank you so much for reading and for the sweet comments on Chapter 1 <3
> 
> ([Tumblr](http://ellessey-writes.tumblr.com/))


	3. Chapter 3

It's still dark when Suga wakes. Still dark after he has showered and dressed, and the sun is only just beginning to spill light along the horizon when he slips out of the house, shivering slightly in the morning air.

He's too early. Much too early, he's sure, but he's only sitting on the front stoop for a few minutes before he sees Daichi coming his way, walking slowly with two travel mugs in his hands.

Suga can see the steam rising from them before they meet up in the middle of the street. The smell is amazing. He's probably about to be proven wrong, and he hopes it's not the only thing Daichi tries to prove to him today.

"I couldn't find the lids," Daichi says, holding one mug out to Suga. "So, be careful."

Suga smiles and wraps his cold hands around the heated metal. "You made me coffee."

"I told you I would," Daichi says. The way the corner of his mouth twitches up, and the glint in his eyes, tells Suga that he did not imagine the double meaning in the words last night.

"But is it good?" Suga asks, lifting the mug so the steam dances over his face as he breathes it in.

Daichi shrugs and takes a sip of his own coffee. "You're the one with the high expectations."

 _And you're the one who always meets them_ , Suga thinks. He blows over the hot liquid slowly before taking a careful sip. It's absolutely perfect. Rich, creamy, and sweet.

"Wow," Suga says, looking up to find Daichi watching him. "This is...very impressive, Daichi. You may be able to keep that job despite your woeful lack of fax-sending skills."

"I was kind of hoping to get fired," Daichi says.

"Then you should probably start adding salt to the coffee."

Daichi kicks the toe of Suga's shoe gently.

"I made it extra good for you. I was trying to get it the same color as your eyes, but I added a little too much creamer."

Suga takes a sip too quickly and burns his tongue. He's surprised he's even managing to hold on to the cup, when all he feels like he has the capacity to do is flail in the face of such unprecedented adorableness.

"Were you really?" he squeaks.

"Yes," Daichi says, flushing a bit now. "Is that really lame? I think I got it pretty close."

Suga waits for the feeling of his heart melting away to subside slightly before trying to speak again. "No, no. It's not lame at all."

Daichi smiles and reaches out to wrap his hand around one of Suga's. They start to walk, hands swinging between them, taking slow, shuffling steps until their cups aren't so full that they're in constant danger of spilling. They keep walking long after the last sips of coffee are gone, looping through the surrounding neighborhoods, continuing conversations from the past two days, and eventually winding up in town.

"Breakfast?" Daichi asks, nodding towards a little bakery up the street.

"Yes, definitely," Suga says.

"Lunch and dinner, too."

"Right now?" Suga smiles.

"No, I mean...you know what I mean," Daichi says, rolling his eyes and bumping Suga's shoulder with his. "I think you always know what I mean."

"Maybe," Suga says. "Tell me anyway though, I love the way you over explain things."

Daichi laughs and reaches to open the door to the bakery, stepping back to let Suga walk past him.

"I meant it when I said I wanted to spend the day with you. I want every minute of it."

"Every minute? You're asking for a lot here, Daichi."

"I know, I know. But you'll think about it, right?"

"I'll give it careful consideration."

"That's really all I can ask," Daichi says, nodding solemnly.

They order flaky, chocolate filled pastries and take them outside to eat them at a little wrought iron table in the sun. They sit with their legs touching, the muscle of Daichi's calf firm against Suga's.

"Have you thought about it yet?" Daichi asks when they’re halfway through their food.

"I'm trying to eat my breakfast."

"Just give me a sense of which direction you're leaning. How close are we to, say, 90% of your minutes?"

"Patience, Daichi," Suga chides. He deliberately licks a smear of chocolate filling from his finger, and Daichi bites his lip.

"I think my patience ran out," he says, leaning across the table so Suga can catch his next words, even as his voice drops. "Somewhere between you ripping my shirt off and pushing me on your bed, and my phone ringing."

And just like that, Suga is finished eating. He's finished with being here on this street that is starting to come alive with people.

"I think we should go," Suga says.

"Where?" Daichi asks. He's already standing up.

"My house. My uncle will be at work by now."

Daichi nods. He scoops their leftovers off the table and drops them in the first trash can they pass as they start walking home. Speed walking might be more accurate.

When they reach their street Suga goes for broke and just starts running, and Daichi falls into step right beside him. His hands are around Suga's waist before they're even in the door. Suga's are up Daichi's shirt before it's fallen shut behind them. Then they're stumbling through the entryway, into the hallway, noses and teeth bumping as they messily kiss their way closer to Suga's room.

Daichi seems to lose any last scrap of patience he'd been holding onto before they get there, and he pushes Suga hard against the wall so he can fit their mouths together properly, fingers fumbling with the button of Suga's shorts, and—

"Koushi?"

_No. No no no no no._

Daichi freezes, his mouth still covering Suga's.

"Koushi, is that you?" The voice is coming from his uncle's bedroom at the other end of the hall, and Suga almost screams.

Why, _why,_ after never, ever being here, why the _hell_ is his uncle here now?

His uncle's door starts to open and Daichi looks horrified, jumping back from Suga so when his uncle steps out of his room the two boys are pressed against opposite walls, both looking incredibly guilty.

"Yes!" Suga squeaks belatedly. "Sorry! We were just...going to grab a movie from my room. I didn't know you were still home!"

His uncle looks between Suga and Daichi, seeming a little bewildered. He looks so much like his brother, Suga's father. Always a little bit absent, though why he isn't _literally_ absent right now Suga would damn well like to know.

"It's the third Wednesday of the month," he says, shaking his head as if he can't comprehend why Suga is in any way confused.

"I...yes, I guess it is?" Suga says. Daichi is silent, his back still against the wall.

"I always work from home on the third Wednesday of the month," his uncle says.

 _Oh my God,_ Suga thinks. _He's crazy. He's crazy and he's going to stay in this house the entire day and ruin everything._

"Of course," Daichi says. Suga looks over to see him bowing slightly and nodding. "I'm sorry we interrupted you."

"Well, that's...that's alright. You're the Sawamura boy aren't you?"

"Yes," Daichi says, still nodding.

"Hmm, well, off you go, both of you. You shouldn't be inside on a day like this anyway. Summer's almost over, isn't it?"

Daichi meets Suga's eyes and there's too much passing between them to sort all of it out now. It's too much to keep being pulled apart after getting so close, and to be standing here in this dark hallway with Suga's uncle reminding them that their time is almost up.

"Yes!" Suga says. "Let's go, Daichi. I'm sorry, Uncle!"

His uncle nods, still looking bemused, and Daichi is still standing there so Suga just grabs his arm and tugs him towards the front door.

"Oh my _God,"_ Suga cries as soon as they're outside. "Daichi!"

Daichi is laughing. He's bent over at the waist and Suga is not at all sure if he wants to laugh too, or push him over. He settles for tackling him onto the front lawn, because it makes him feel better, and then he gets to crouch beside him and press his burning face into his shoulder.

Daichi just keeps shaking with laughter, flat on his back, and Suga thinks he's probably lost it because this has happened one too many times.

"What _is_ this?" Daichi asks, struggling to prop himself up on his elbows without completely dislodging Suga. "Isn't he never, ever home?"

Suga lifts his head to stare wide-eyed at Daichi. "He is _never home!”_

"I'm going to die," Daichi says seriously.

"I think I already did. My soul left my body when I heard him say, ' _Koushi?’”_

Daichi snorts, and then sobers immediately to very accurately mimic that wavering, puzzled voice. " _Koushiiii?"_

"Stop it," Suga says, smacking Daichi's shoulder and biting back a laugh.

Daichi catches Suga's hand and keeps it pressed to himself. He's serious again suddenly, but it's not put on this time. "Koushi," he repeats, not in Suga's uncle's voice, just in his own.

Suga can't take this anymore.

"What are we going to do?” he asks. He doesn’t in any way try to disguise how desperate he feels. “Where can we go?"

"I don't know, I don't know...my mom is at home, and....oh, oh!"

"What?"

Daichi is scrambling to his feet, grabbing Suga's hand and dragging him along as he heads toward the street.

"Daichi...where are we going?"

"Ryuu-kun's," Daichi says, still hauling Suga behind him, but Suga drags his heels.

"What? We can't break into his house!"

"No." Daichi shakes his head. "Not his house, there's a tree house in his backyard."

Suga stops walking completely. "No! We can't...we cannot do stuff in Ryuu's tree house!"

Can they? Suga is close to doing stuff right here on the street, but it somehow seems painfully wrong to do anything that he wants to with Daichi in a little boy's playhouse.

"No, no, it's fine," Daichi says. "He never uses it. It was back there before they moved in and Ryuu's afraid of heights anyway, so it just sits there and....I go there, sometimes. Just to be somewhere where there's no one else."

Suga considers this quickly and decides he is no longer squeamish about the idea.

Daichi is still clearly out of patience though. "Suga, please, please. We'll be alone there and I need—"

"Yes," Suga says. "Go, go!"

Daichi hesitates just long enough for a grin to spread across his face, and then he's pulling Suga and they're sprinting once more, across Ryuu's front lawn, through the gate, and along the stone path winding into the backyard. They stop at the base of an enormous, widespread oak tree that is supporting the most substantial tree house Suga has ever seen. But he doesn't have time to admire it, to say anything about it, because Daichi is pressing him towards the ladder, guiding him up with his hands on his back, and then his ass.

When he reaches the top of the ladder Suga just catches a glimpse of the scattered furnishings—a lantern in the corner, an overturned crate filled with books, a threadbare patchwork quilt spread across the floor—and then Daichi is crashing into him, knocking him to his back and following him down, and Suga doesn't have a thought to spare for anything but this.

This, just this, feels like everything Suga has ever wanted. Daichi's body warm and solid over his own, covering him, pressing him down. His hands are moving over Suga's sides, then up his arms, pinning them above his head so Daichi can lean down to trail sloppy kisses from Suga's bicep up to his wrist. He lingers there, sucking the thin flesh and drawing a high moan from Suga.

"You liked that, didn't you?" Daichi murmurs against him, his breath hot on Suga's palm. "Before. I hated having to stop so soon."

"Don't stop," Suga says, and Daichi doesn't. He moves to Suga's other wrist, sucking harder this time and making Suga writhe under him, then working down that arm, shifting his body lower on Suga's as he goes, spreading Suga's knees apart with his own and lying between them.

Suga wants to be touching him, too, to be kissing him, but he can't move, he can't do anything but stare, mesmerized, as Daichi sits up and removes his own shirt, then leans back down to push Suga's up above his chest, so it's bunched under his arms. And now the same wet kisses and little pinches of teeth that covered his arms are being scattered over Suga's stomach, up his side, and across his chest. His breath comes faster each time Daichi's mouth presses into him, and then the air leaves him completely when his lips close over one of Suga's nipples, surrounding it with heat as his tongue swirls around the pink nub, circling it until it's fully peaked against Daichi's tongue.

"Daichi," Suga whines. With the way Daichi is pressing him down he can't lift his hips, can't roll them against the other boy to show him what he's doing to Suga, how hungry his tongue is making him for more.

"Is this okay?" Daichi asks. He's smiling, almost smirking. He knows exactly what he's doing.

Suga presses his hand to the back of Daichi's head and pushes it down again, arching his back so his chest rises to meet him, and Daichi groans, sliding his hands under Suga to hold him tight against his face as his mouth goes straight over Suga's other nipple. It's already hard, and when Daichi sucks it Suga's whole body shudders.

This is not something he’s familiar with. He's brushed his own fingers over his nipples before while jerking off, but this _heat,_ the wet press of tongue, and the _sound_ of it...Suga is almost certain he could come just like this. He wants to know how that would feel, but not yet, not this time. And if there _is_ no other time, he can’t let this end now.

"Daichi, Daichi..."

Daichi lets go of Suga's nipple, but only to pinch both of them between his fingers as he stretches up to kiss Suga's lips instead, deep and hungry, and Suga almost screams into his mouth because those fingers tugging at his nipples are going to end him in approximately two seconds.

At least, with the way Daichi has shifted to kiss him, his hips have lifted enough that Suga can move his own, and he rolls them up hard into Daichi, again and again. Whether to give in and bring himself to orgasm, or to show Daichi how close he is, he's not even sure.

Daichi breaks the kiss and stares down at Suga with pupils blown wide. "You're so _sensitive,"_ he says.

"Yes," Suga pants. "Clearly."

"Could you...could you come? Just from that?" His eyes are even wider now. He looks like he wants nothing more than to find out.

"I don't know? I think yes...I think I was about to."

"Fuck, Suga..." His eyes drop to Suga's chest and he trails a finger over one shining, swollen nipple. Suga jerks under him immediately, hips pressing up against him. When Daichi's eyes come back to Suga's they're filled with awe. "What else can I do to you?” he asks softly, and it's not meant to be sexy, it's all curiosity and wonder and amazement, but it reduces Suga to a shivering bundle of nerves and need.

"Anything," he whispers.

He doesn't know how far this is going to go, but he'll let Daichi take him anywhere he wants to. He just wants to be _taken._

Daichi sucks in a breath. His eyes stay on Suga’s as he runs his broad palms over his chest, down, down, until they hit Suga’s shorts and he rises to kneel between Suga’s legs. He slips the button open, not fumbling this time, carefully and cleanly, and then drags the zipper down.

Suga has to remind himself to blink, to breathe.

Daichi’s gaze leaves him then, flitting around the tree house and landing on the wooden crate.

“Here,” he says, shifting the books to the floor and dragging the crate over to set it upside down next to Suga, against the wall. “Sit on here, so I can...”

Suga doesn’t move. He will absolutely sit on there so Daichi can do anything he wants, but he wants to hear him say it.

“Or you can stand,” Daichi says.

“And you can…”

“Suck you off.” Daichi doesn’t even blush. Suga does.

“I don’t think I can stand,” he says.

Daichi nods and then helps Suga tug at the blanket under them, shifting it so it’s draped over the crate, then he watches with parted lips as Suga tugs his shorts down over his hips.

"Should I just...take these off?"

Daichi doesn't seem to be able to answer him. Suga gets to his feet, his hair just brushing the slant of the vaulted roof, and lets his shorts drop. Daichi is still speechless, but he lifts his hands to smooth them up Suga’s bare legs, around the backs of his thighs and over the curve of his ass. His eyes come to Suga’s, wide and questioning, and Suga nods.

Daichi cups his ass, squeezing it almost carefully, then gripping harder and palming over it as he starts to drag Suga’s grey boxer-briefs down from the back. They catch on Suga’s erection but Daichi does not move his hands, he just kneads Suga’s ass while he leans in and catches the waistband with his teeth, pulling it away from Suga’s body so when he tugs at his underwear again it falls to the floor, and Suga’s dick is hanging right in front of Daichi’s face.

Suga doesn’t know if he should be uncomfortable, or embarrassed maybe. He isn’t. He just stares down at Daichi, who is on his knees staring up at him, and Suga thinks maybe trying to stay standing would be worth it. This view of Daichi's wide, bare shoulders, the way the muscles in his thighs bulge with his lower legs pressed under them...there could be a million reasons for how swollen Suga's cock is now, for the moisture collecting at its tip.

“Suga...you’re—”

“Oh my God, I’m in front of a window?”

“What?”

Suga drops to the floor. He had somehow completely forgotten where they are. Was so caught up in the way Daichi was looking at him that he didn’t notice anything else. “I didn’t realize there are windows!”

Daichi looks around, his gaze falling pointedly on all the white patches of sunlight scattered over the floor, glowing on their skin. He has the grace not to say anything.

“We don’t have to do this here,” he says.

“Daichi…” Suga looks down at his own dick, which manages, at that very moment, to leak a drop of shining precum onto the blanket under his knees.

Daichi watches it fall. “Okay...okay, we do. Now.”

“Now,” Suga echoes, and then Daichi's hands are on his waist, lifting him up and guiding him onto the overturned crate, then sliding down low on his hips. His elbows press against the insides of Suga’s thighs to spread them wide.

Suga is trembling already, just from the way Daichi is looking at him, his eyes darting from Suga's bare skin, up to his face, and down again. What will happen when he’s touching him, when Suga is inside that hot mouth?

He doesn't know what to expect, and Daichi doesn't know what he's doing, but neither of them have the patience to hesitate. Suga laces his fingers behind Daichi's head, just as Daichi reaches to wrap a hand around Suga's cock (too much, that's too much to even try to deal with right now, with Daichi's lips so close to him), and then Daichi is leaning in and Suga is pulling him to get him there faster, and Suga fears that this may be the quickest blow job in the history of time because holy _fuck._

How, _how_ is he supposed to deal with the feeling of Daichi's tongue swiping over the tip of his cock, while also dealing with _seeing_ Daichi do it, and not just come immediately?

Daichi, at least, is not trying to take his time. Thank God. As soon as he's licked all over the head he opens his mouth and takes Suga's cock inside, swirling his tongue in rough circles, just like he did to Suga's nipples. It feels just as good, better maybe, Suga doesn't even know. He's never known anything like this slick heat, and he has to close his eyes when Daichi presses his tongue flat against the underside of his cock and sinks down on it, because the image on top of the feeling is more than he can take.

He lets his head fall back against the rough planks that make up the wall behind him, and just feels and listens, and even this almost causes his senses to overload. Daichi is genuinely sucking him now, his hand moving over the part of Suga's length that isn't in his mouth, and the _suction_ —the way he can feel his blood being pulled, the way the insides of Daichi's cheeks press in around him so it's nothing but wet heat and pressure—he can feel it in his bones, like they're being wrung dry too.

And the sound it makes, in this quiet little house in the trees, the obscene slurping against a backdrop of distant bird calls, it all leaves Suga with a spinning head and shaking fingers clutching Daichi's hair.

"Suga?"

Daichi has pulled off suddenly and Suga looks down at him, at his lips, red and wet, and his dark eyes, somehow both determined and uncertain.

"Is this okay?" he asks, sincerely this time. He's not teasing Suga. "You're so quiet."

"Yes!" Suga says, and his voice scrapes at his throat. He realizes that not only has he not made a sound, he hasn't swallowed, has barely breathed, has done nothing but bite into his lower lip so hard that he's drawn blood. "Oh my God, Daichi...yes. I'm just trying so hard not to come yet."

Daichi lets out a relieved little huff, almost a laugh. "I _want_ you to come."

"Then get back on me," Suga says, going for coy, or maybe coyly authoritative, but really just sounding hungry.

Daichi leans back in immediately and licks up and down Suga's length, twisting his head to press hot, open kisses to Suga's balls, the insides of his thighs, then back over his cock again. It's wet and messy and noisy. He's not being artful or teasing, he's just a boy who wants Suga's taste in his mouth, who wants to make Suga feel good, and Suga can't imagine any bit of this being more perfect.

He's not biting his lip anymore. He's letting his voice fall out in little cries and gasps, every time Daichi's lips or tongue against him make him quiver. And then Daichi is sinking back over him, taking him in deeper now that he's gotten more comfortable and Suga is so slick. He manages to keep his eyes open for just a little bit, just enough to catch the way Daichi's cheeks are hollowed out around him, the way his lips look, stretched wide around Suga's cock, the way the late morning sun is spilling over him and tracing him with white gold.

Just then, Daichi looks up at him, sees him watching, and moans, low and deep and _humming_ all around Suga, and Suga cannot make any more conscious decisions. His eyes simply close, his head falls back against the wall, and he tugs Daichi hard against him as he lifts his hips and cries out sharply, unintentionally fucking into Daichi's mouth with jerking thrusts as he spills his release down his throat.

He can just hear Daichi swallowing hurriedly, can vaguely feel how tightly he's gripping Suga's hips, but he doesn't stop Suga from pressing into him, and Suga can't stop himself until his hips slow on their own and he finally slumps back against the crate beneath him.

"Daichi..."

He looks so beautiful and breathless. His cheeks are pink, probably both from the heat up here in this sun-filled house, and from what they’ve been doing, from just letting Suga use his mouth like that.

"I'm so sorry!" Suga says.

"What? Why?"

"I should have warned you! I didn't even ask if—"

"Suga, no." Daichi is shaking his head, gliding his palms over Suga's thighs in comforting strokes. "I wanted it like that. I...I liked it." His gaze drops then, and so does Suga's, down to Daichi's lap. His shorts are open, he must have unzipped them in the middle of going down on him, and Suga can just see the tip of his erection straining up behind the waistband of his underwear.

 _Oh no,_ Suga thinks. Just that tiny flash of flushed skin makes his own spent cock twitch again. He slides off the crate and onto the floor in front of the other boy, kneeling with his legs wide apart, on either side of Daichi's.

"Daichi, do you want..."

Suga rises on his knees. He reaches to carefully pull Daichi free from clinging cotton, soaked through with precum, and whimpers at the sight of him. He's _perfect._ So thick and smooth, the head flushed a dark red and already so wet. Suga thinks of how it feels when he fingers himself, and how much _more_ this would be, and even though he's still weak and trembling from Daichi sucking the life out of him, he's overwhelmed with want all over again.

"You can come in me, too," he says. He's blushing furiously. He knows Daichi has to know what he means, that he isn't just offering a blow job. And he knows there's a good chance that even with all of the longing in Daichi's eyes, he's going to say no.

"Suga..." his hands come to Suga's face, cupping his cheeks, and Suga sinks back to the floor. "I want to. You know I want to."

Suga nods and bites his lip, still tender from the way he'd dug his teeth into it before. He will not cry.

"But...on Sunday you'll leave, and..." his hands drop to his lap, his eyes do, too, and Suga can finish the rest of his thought for himself.

Daichi doesn't want to do this with someone, to lose it to someone, who won't be here after. Suga understands. He knows what kind of person Daichi is. The kind that doesn't give or take without meaning. The kind that Suga has fallen so hard for, flown so high with, that he doesn't know what’s up or down anymore.

"I know," Suga says. "I know. You're right."

He is right, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that it's only been a month, and it really doesn't matter whether or not he gives Daichi his virginity, when he's already given him his heart.

He smiles for Daichi though, because he's not going to sit here feeling sorry about what he doesn't have, when he has something this amazing right in front of him. A boy who deserves to feel as good as he's made Suga feel.

Suga reaches over to press his hand to Daichi's cock, and the thick vein that runs the length of it throbs against his palm.

"It’s okay. We don't have to do that, but...can I help, with this?"

"Ye—yes," Daichi stutters, his hips automatically rising into Suga's touch.

"Get off your knees," Suga says. He pulls off his own shirt, and then tugs and pushes at Daichi's clothes and body until his shorts and underwear have been tossed aside, and he's crawling on top of Suga as the smaller boy lies back on the floor.

As soon as Daichi is positioned solidly over him—his knees on either side of Suga, bracing himself on his elbows just above him, so their chests brush together—Suga slips both his hands between them and slides them over Daichi so he can cover his entire length at once. Daichi’s head drops forward and he huffs out a hot breath against Suga’s shoulder. When Suga starts to pump him—both hands moving together so each time he slides them back down, Daichi’s cock is sheathed by his tight grip—Daichi kisses his chest, little grunts and moans falling against his skin between each press of lips.

Suga closes his eyes and locks his arms so they stay in place when Daichi starts to rock his hips, thrusting into Suga’s hands. With the way he’s pressed on top of him Suga can almost imagine that it’s not just his palms burning from the friction of Daichi’s cock. He can imagine that Daichi’s strong hips are forcing that thick, hard length deep inside him instead of just rutting roughly into his hands.

What is really happening feels incredible though. Daichi is moaning louder, biting at Suga’s chest, and thrusting so hard that Suga’s hands are being pressed down against his body, until he loses his grip entirely and just lets Daichi grind into his stomach. He keeps his hands over Daichi’s cock so there’s still friction above and below it, and he realizes that this feels _so_ good because it’s not just Daichi on the brink of release. Daichi’s body moving over his has been intermittently rubbing over his own erection just enough that, combined with how hot _everything_ Daichi is doing right now is making him, Suga is shaking with rapidly building pleasure beneath him.

“Suga, _God,_ _”_ Daichi groans. “You feel so good...so...I can’t…”

He can’t hold on anymore. He grinds his hips hard into Suga and bites his nipple, and Suga possibly really does scream this time. His own hips jerk up against Daichi and he spills over himself, his eyes watering from the pressure of Daichi’s teeth, from the feeling of his oversensitive body being rocked by another orgasm, so soon after the first. Daichi stiffens above him while Suga is still shuddering, gasping out his name as his release shoots out between them, falling hot all over Suga’s stomach.

“Suga, Suga…shit,” Daichi says when his hips have stilled, but his chest is still heaving against Suga’s. “Did you just…”

Suga shivers, pressing his cock up against Daichi once more even though there’s nothing left to come out.

“Yes,” he says weakly. “I think...I think we can always assume the answer is yes.”

Daichi laughs and collapses on top of him. They’re both fully naked and it's all warm, bare skin, slick with sweat and kisses and everything they've spilled between themselves. "You're amazing," he says into Suga's hair.

"No," Suga says, stroking Daichi's back, taking shallow breaths because Daichi is so heavy, but he doesn't want to say anything and have him move. " _You_ are amazing. That's why I came twice."

Daichi shifts so he's lying right next to Suga, their bodies still pressed together, and he can run his fingers down the side of Suga's flushed face. "Did you know you could do that?" he asks.

Suga shakes his head. "I'm learning a lot of things with you."

"I told you I'd show you," Daichi says, grinning now, like a proud little boy. His cheeks are still so red, this tree house is like a sauna and they should probably move, get cleaned up, get clothes on.

Suga just rolls his eyes and presses his smile into Daichi's shoulder. "Yeah, you showed me."

Daichi drapes his arm over Suga, pulling him into his side, and they stay just like this, overheated and overwhelmed, until Suga's head eventually starts to clear, and he remembers something he needs to tell Daichi. An answer he already had for him before the day even started, even though he pretended not to.

"You can have them," he says.

"Huh?" Daichi's voice is sleepy and low.

"All of my minutes. I want all of them to be with you," Suga says.

Daichi doesn't say anything, he just pulls Suga closer, using his hand in his hair to tuck Suga's head under his chin. With their chests pressed together Suga can feel it when Daichi's breath hitches a few times, but he doesn't look to see if he's crying. He just holds on to him harder and keeps his chin ducked down as his eyes well up.

He wants to give Daichi so much more than just the minutes in this day. He wants tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. He almost wants to take back this whole summer because even if he still thinks it's worth it, they've done so much more than Daichi thought they should, and even if they do nothing else, it's going to hurt him when Suga leaves. Suga can deal with his own hurt, but Daichi's...

He _couldn't_ though, he couldn't take it all back. It would be like ripping off a bird's wings. He doesn't know what to do, or to think, so he stops thinking. He breathes in the scent of Daichi’s skin. Sweat and sunlight.

 _Three days,_ he tells himself. They still have three days to get high enough that they're in their own, brand new orbit, and nothing can pull them back down.

*

Eventually they get so hot and hungry that they have to move. They clean themselves up with the blanket and then Daichi balls it up and leaves it in the corner.

“Daichi...tell me that isn’t going to stay there and rot until the end of time,” Suga says.

“It won’t...I’ll get it later.”

“And wash it?”

“Are you questioning my ability to do laundry, now?” Daichi asks, looking up from the books he’s been stacking back in the crate.

“Yes, I absolutely am. Don’t tell me you can do laundry _and_ make exceptional coffee.”

“You have no idea how much I can do,” Daichi says, and Suga raises an eyebrow.

“I think I have a pretty good idea.”

“Maybe,” Daichi says, leaning in to catch his lips in a quick kiss. “But we should probably get out of here before I start trying to show you more.”

Suga’s eyebrows both fly up this time, and then he drops to sit flat on the floor, blocking the doorway. Daichi laughs and he sinks to his knees in front of Suga, kissing him again. “Come on. You said I get the whole day. It’s time for lunch.”

“It had better be good.”

“It’s going to consist mainly of ice-cream, so it should be acceptable to you.”

Suga does not want to leave. Nothing could be better than staying right here and filling himself with Daichi for the rest of the day, but he knows they have to go. And ice-cream does sound perfect with how hot he is, how dry his throat has gotten.

“Alright,” he relents, turning to climb down the ladder.

When he climbed up it he had never been naked with anyone. Had never felt someone’s mouth on all the places Daichi’s has been now. He’d never felt someone come apart against him.

Now he has, and all of those things weren’t with _anyone_ , they weren’t with _someone_ , they were with Daichi.  

Every moment he spends with this dark-haired boy who is holding his hand now, leading him back out to the street, changes him. It changes how much Daichi is to him.

He doesn’t say anything about it for the rest of the day. He eats with Daichi, he laughs with him, teases him, confides in him. He gives every minute of the day to him and at the end of it he still longs for a million more. When Daichi kisses him goodnight at his front door, with the moon fat and round above them, he knows he’s going to have to figure out exactly what he thinks, and he’s going to have to say something to Daichi before their time is up. Because if Daichi wants him so much, and all he wants is Daichi, then where is the sense in keeping themselves from each other? What will that help?

And more than that, what will it hurt? How much more would Suga regret not experiencing something with Daichi than just giving him everything?

He thinks he already knows. He hopes he won’t be the only one.

*

The next day Daichi has to work again. If working can be defined as occasionally taking phone calls and refilling the coffee pot, in between sending endless text messages that steadily light up Suga's phone (and his day, to be honest). By the time he gets home, Ryuu has returned from his grandparents' and their trio is back together. They spend the evening roasting marshmallows over the firepit in Daichi's backyard.

"Suga-nii," Ryuu says, with sticky fingers still in his mouth and a string of marshmallow stretching over his cheek. "How many more days till you gotta go?"

Daichi looks at Suga from across the fire, his face all angles, shadows and warm light.

"Two more," Suga says. "Tomorrow and Saturday, then I leave early Sunday morning."

"Just _two?”_ Ryuu's bottom lip begins to quiver and Suga moves to kneel in front of him in the grass, taking his hands, sticky fingers and all.

"I know," he says. "I'm really going to miss you. But you know what's cool?"

"What?" Ryuu asks, sniffling now.

"I bet that by the time I visit my uncle again you're going to be even bigger and stronger. I might not even recognize you."

"Really?" Ryuu asks, his eyes brightening a bit.

Suga nods. "I bet I'll walk right past you and you'll have to say, 'Suga-nii! What's the matter with you, it's me!'"

Ryuu laughs. "Will you be bigger, too?"

Suga gets to his feet and looks down at himself. Slender and not terribly tall, as always. "Unlikely," he says.

"He might be," Daichi says. "I've heard he works out extensively."

"Expensively?" Ryuu asks.

Suga laughs, Daichi shakes his head.

"No, never mind. You want another marshmallow?"

"Yes!" Ryuu cries, Suga's impending departure forgotten for now in the face of toasted puffs of sugar.

Daichi stretches out his leg so he can rest his foot against Suga's. Suga wants to cry again, he can't stop wanting to cry.

"Do you have to work tomorrow?" he asks.

Daichi shakes his head. "I told my dad I can't."

"So we get to play all day?" Ryuu asks, bouncing out of his chair.

Daichi looks at Suga, who nods, of course.

"Yeah. Tomorrow let's do all our favorite things with Suga, okay?"

"Okay! Okay, Suga-nii?"

"Yeah," Suga says, smiling at this little boy who changed his whole summer when he set up his lemonade stand across the street. "That sounds perfect."

It sounds wonderful, very close to perfect. But there's that part of Suga, the part that is afraid of falling, that can't stop counting the minutes he has left, the chances still remaining to say everything he knows he needs to.

*

It does end up being one of Suga's favorite days of the summer. It's everything the season is supposed to be, that it stops being the older you get. It's filled with sticky, sugary treats, bare feet racing over hot concrete and soft grass, splashing through the little creek in the nearby park, and sailing ships made from leaves and twigs. It's Ryuu laughing until he cries while Suga and Daichi attack him with tickles, and then Suga doing the same when they both turn on him. It's Daichi's hand warm and firm on his arm, his back, anywhere he can find a reason to touch him. It's the chalk drawings spreading all the way across the street between their homes, chains of footprints, Suga's, Daichi's, and Ryuu's, traced and filled in with every color they could find.

Daichi and Suga stand at the edge of the road after Ryuu's parents have called him three times and he's finally gone in, their bare feet dusted with pink, orange, and red chalk. The sun is setting and Daichi's skin is glowing with the same colors.

"If it doesn't rain this weekend it's gonna be painful to see this after you go," Daichi says, looking over their work.

 _Now_ , Suga thinks. _We have to really talk about this now._

"Daichi..."

"Sorry," he says, putting on a smile. "That was depressing."

"No, it...well yes, it was. But Daichi, listen..." Suga doesn't know exactly what he wants to say, he just knows he's feeling so much and he's feeling it all about Daichi. He steps into the street so he can face him, his feet planted right over chalk tracings of Daichi’s, longer and wider than his own.

"What is it?"

"I...I'm sorry," Suga says. "I know we've talked about this before and I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but...we only have one day left."

Daichi reaches for him, his hands sliding into Suga’s hair, just the way they do when he’s about to kiss him. “I _know_ —”

“And I _want_ you. Daichi, I want you so much."

Daichi leans into him and brushes his lips over Suga’s. "I...I know, I want you, too. It feels like all I do is want you."

"Then _take_ me," Suga blurts out, and when Daichi leans back to look at him, he doesn’t try to keep the pleading out of his eyes. He isn't in the habit of hiding his feelings from the other boy, and he doesn't see any reason to start now. Especially not now.

"Suga..."

"Please.” Suga clenches his fingers in Daichi’s shirt. “Let’s stop making ourselves stop. If you didn't want to do it, then that would be okay, I would understand. But you _do_ , and I want you to, so please—"

"Suga," Daichi says again. “That's...I _do_ want to, I do. But it's a _big deal_ , and—"

"I know, I know it is. That's why I want it to be with you. How could I experience everything that I have with you, but not this? This is the biggest first there is, and I want it to be _you,_ Daichi."

Daichi flushes slightly but he doesn't look away from Suga. His hands have slid down his sides and are tight on the back of his hips now. "I...God, Suga, so do I. I want it so much it hurts, like it actually hurts. And everything with you is so...it's _so_ good. It makes me feel like I'm on another planet, and if I...if we..."

"Fuck?" Suga says helpfully, and Daichi goes from faintly pink to brilliantly red. Suga is really, really going to miss seeing him blush. It makes him want to smother him with kisses, and he leans in, nosing along his jaw. “Have sex, then, Daichi?”

Daichi huffs, sounding mildly put out, and presses his face into Suga's shoulder.

Suga runs his hand into his hair and holds him there. “Make love?” he says softly, and he's not teasing. He brushes a kiss over Daichi's ear so he’ll know, and Daichi leans harder into him before lifting his head.

"Yes," he says, meeting Suga's eyes. "If we do, then how am I ever going to come down from that? Aren't you afraid of how far we'll have to fall when you leave?"

"Yes," Suga says.

"And you still want to do it, even though you know how much it'll hurt?"

" _Yes,_ Daichi, because think about it. What's it going to feel like on Sunday, even if we say goodbye right now and don't touch each other again?"

Daichi moves his hands to run them up and down Suga’s arms, as if in defiance of the mere idea of not touching him. "It's gonna kill me."

"Right," Suga says, nodding. "Me too. So if we're screwed either way, why would we not let ourselves have everything we want?"

Daichi is quiet and his hands fall to his sides, fingers clenching, releasing and stretching out, and then tightening again. Suga watches his face as he thinks this through, sees it go from startled, to pained, before settling into some kind of rueful amusement.

“You always figure everything out,” he says, finally.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Suga says. (He does.)

“You knew we were screwed from the start, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t know for _certain_...” He’s been pretty sure though. Pretty sure that their hearts were hopelessly fucked from their first date onwards. Probably from before that.

Daichi laughs softly, shaking his head. “You did. You always know. And here I’ve been stupidly thinking I was protecting us somehow.”

Suga shakes his head, too. “Not stupidly. You were being _you._ You're so _good,_ and kind, and beautiful, and I just...Daichi, I want to know I gave you everything I could. I want to know that I had you."

"You already have me," Daichi says, and his hands aren’t clenched into fists anymore, they’re relaxed and open, and Suga smiles, reaching for them and pulling Daichi close to himself, where he's supposed to be.

"And I want you to have me."

Daichi swallows at his words, his jaw tightens, and even though Suga was so sure this was going well he finds himself tensing now, too. He tries to brace himself for Daichi to say no again, to find the strength to say that it's okay, because he's too smart to throw away something for nothing.

But Daichi doesn't say anything. Not _no,_ or _yes,_ or _let me think._ He pulls his hands from Suga's, only to bring them back to tangle in his hair as he leans in and kisses him, lips already parted, already working to open Suga's mouth and fill it with heat and promise. It’s almost like being kissed for the first time again. It takes Suga’s breath away, it makes his heart pound so fiercely he would almost be afraid, were it not for Daichi’s hands sliding down his back now and wrapping around him, letting him know that he’s safe, that this is just what happens when a heart is sprouting wings of its own.

And then, after he’s kissed him so thoroughly that Suga can see stars even with his eyes closed, he answers him. He presses the words against Suga’s lips, his cheeks, his forehead. Little whispers of _yes,_ and _Suga,_ and _yes_ again, in case Suga somehow didn’t know already what he was trying to say. Completely unnecessary. Completely, perfectly, Daichi.

It’s too much. How unbearably sweet Daichi is, how good he feels holding Suga so close, and how much anticipation is running through Suga now, as what they’ve just decided starts to really hit him.

“Oh my God,” he says, pushing at Daichi’s chest so he can see his face. “Yes?”

Daichi laughs, pulling Suga right back in to kiss him again. “Yes, Suga. How many times did I just say yes? Are you just trying to make me over explain myself again?”

“No, you already did that on your own,” Suga smiles. “But I guess I needed it. I just...I want this so much, I can’t believe it’s really going to happen.”

Daichi brushes the tip of his nose against Suga’s, his wide smile smoothing down into something more serious, but still soft. “It is. Suga...you’re right. It would hurt like hell on Sunday even if we’d never even kissed. And I think...I don’t think anything would hurt more than watching you go and knowing I could have had you and I didn’t.”

“But you’re going to,” Suga says, sliding his hands into the back pockets of Daichi’s shorts and pressing into the tight, thick muscles there. (This was an excellent decision. He has not spent nearly enough time appreciating what Daichi has under his shorts.)

“I’m going to.” Daichi kisses him again, and again. He can’t stop kissing him and Suga can’t stop opening his mouth to let him in.

“When?” he asks, when Daichi has left his lips to mouth along the soft line of his jaw. “Where?”

“I don’t know,” Daichi says, his voice low, and rough, and trembling with the same eagerness that is making Suga shiver in his arms. “I’ll figure it out, though, I promise. I’ll make it perfect.”

“You just have to be there for that to happen.”

Daichi smiles. “What happened to your high expectations?”

“You always meet them. Every time you touch me, you meet them.”

“I’ll do more than meet them,” Daichi says, and he’s getting that look again, where his dark eyes burn into Suga, and Suga’s lungs lose the ability to perform their one and only function.

“Oh really?” he says. His attempt to sound light and unaffected is completely thwarted by how breathy and strained his voice comes out.

Daichi nods, leaning in so his lips brush Suga’s ear when he whispers, “Really. Get ready.” He punctuates his words with a light press of teeth around Suga’s earlobe, and Suga whimpers.

He is so ready. He is not ready at all.

He’s going to find out how long it’s possible to go without eating, sleeping, or possibly breathing, because he’s certain the only thing he’ll be able to do until he’s with Daichi—finally, really _with_ him—is hold his breath and count the stars that Daichi has set spinning around him.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is now [art!](http://mlim8.tumblr.com/post/145410279178/90-of-your-minutes-the-stars-in-summer-by) For this chapter! Thank you Mel for creating this gorgeous doujin for one of my favorite scenes, you are an angel ♡
> 
> \--
> 
> See? Suga is not only very much _not dead_ , but I believe he is feeling really, wonderfully alive right about now. 
> 
> Thank you for reading ♡
> 
> ([Tumblr](http://ellessey-writes.tumblr.com/))


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah...here we are at the end. Thank you so much for reading, and thank you [Esselle](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Esselle) for all your help, and for making me finish this when I (frequently) said, “I can’t! Too sad! Eternal summer!”

Suga doesn't know how he ever managed to fall asleep, he only remembers tossing in his bed after finally saying goodnight to Daichi. Alternately being overwhelmed by joyful anticipation, and then by the panicked dread of what will come next, when he’s facing an ending instead of a beginning. But he opens his eyes and finds that morning has come, and his phone is blinking with new messages.

 **Daichi  
** _Tonight_

 **Daichi  
** _what time does your uncle go to bed?_

Suga sits up in bed, yanking the covers up to press them into his face as he squeals. Tonight! Tonight, tonight, tonight. He can’t feel anything but anticipation right now. He wriggles around, trying to get enough of this bubbling excitement out of him that he can pick his phone back up, and type a response to Daichi that doesn't come across as completely illiterate.

 **Suga  
** _he vanishes into his room at exactly 8:45 every night_

 **Daichi  
** _that's weird and conveniently pretty early_

 **Suga  
** _conveniently because..._

 **Daichi  
** _we're sneaking out tonight. Bring a sweater and be ready to do some walking_

 **Suga  
** _i'm going to see you before then, right??_

 **Daichi  
** _yes, of course. But unless you want our first time to be interrupted by my parents, your uncle, or Ryuu..._

No, Suga definitely does not want any interruptions. He's quite sure that once he has Daichi inside him there is nothing in the world that could make him stop, which could become very awkward very quickly if someone were to walk in on them.

The only problem is that now he's going to spend the entire day waiting for the night, and this day is all that they have left.

It's a sobering realization. It shouldn't even be a realization, because he knew, he _knew_ this. But it takes down the giddy joy he's been feeling since he woke, and tempers it into something still sweet, but achingly so.

He's going to get everything he wants tonight, and then in the morning he's going to lose it.

 **Suga  
** _That is not what I want. i need to see you now though..can we get breakfast?_

 **Daichi  
** _i'm already making you coffee_

 **Suga  
** _Have you thought about how you'll breathe when you're in my suitcase? because i am definitely taking you home with me._

 **Daichi  
** _that's gonna be a heavy suitcase_

 **Suga  
** _i'm deceptively strong_

 **Daichi  
** _i know you are. I like it_

 **Suga  
** _I'll keep that in mind_

 **Daichi  
** _please do._

The butterflies start up again in Suga's stomach, thinking about how solid and strong Daichi feels whenever Suga is trying to move him. He _is_ stronger than he looks, but he's pretty sure that when he manages to push Daichi in any direction, it's because he wants to be pushed. And Suga loves the way Daichi lets himself be directed, almost as much as he loves it when there's nothing he can do but whatever Daichi wants him to.

Oh God...what's going to become of him tonight?

His phone flashes again, another message from Daichi. A single word. _Tonight._

Daichi is reading his mind. Or just sharing his thoughts because of course he's thinking everything Suga is now, feeling everything he's feeling. They're standing on the same ledge, waiting for the same rush of wind to carry them when they leap.

 **Suga  
** _Tonight_

 **Daichi  
** _also right now. Come out and get your coffee_

Suga squeaks and drops his phone, scrambling to get out of bed and pull some clothes on so he can go. He is not going to wish away a single moment of this day, even though he's longing for tonight. He'll soak up every bit of it, no matter where they are or how many other people are around them, because for this one last day, it will be _them_.

As it turns out, it doesn't matter how much Suga tries not to think about tonight, or to make the day last, because it goes so, so fast no matter what he does. Especially the little bits when they're alone, like when Daichi pulls him down in the long grass at the park while Ryuu is busy feeding ducks. He kisses him slowly, like they have all the time in the world, but minutes seem to be seconds instead, and then Ryuu's little voice is bouncing closer and Daichi rolls off of him, so when Ryuu arrives they're both sprawled on their backs, pretending to be watching the clouds.

Ryuu drops down between them, one leg draped over Daichi, his head pillowed on Suga's stomach, and Suga has to grab fistfuls of grass to keep himself from folding over Ryuu and just squeezing him to bits, because he _loves_ this boy, and he loves all the magic he's brought to Suga's time here. He loves everything he brings out in Daichi.

"Suga-nii," Ryuu says, and Suga's hand automatically goes to brush over his short hair. "Will you write to me?"

"Yes," Suga says. "Of course I will. And if you promise to take good care of Daichi, I may even send you candy."

"Don't," Daichi says. His arm is thrown over his eyes, but Suga can see him smiling. "The last thing this kid needs is more candy."

"Well I can't send him ice-cream, Daichi, so my options are limited."

"You two." Daichi lets his arm fall to the grass, his hand brushing Suga's, and shakes his head.

"Suga-nii understands me," Ryuu says, and Suga smiles even as his eyes prick with tears. How did this happen? How did his heart become this full in just one month? "Can I come to the train station with you tomorrow?"

"I don't think so, hon," Suga says. "It's going to be so early. We'll say goodbye tonight when I'm not rushed and I can give you hundreds of hugs, okay?"

"Okay," Ryuu says. "What about Dai-nii? Will you have time to hug him too?"

Daichi laughs. Suga almost sobs.

"I'll make it work," he says, and then he puts his arm over his eyes, ostensibly to block out the sun. Really, to block his tears from traveling down his face.

He feels pressure on his other hand and Daichi's hand closes around it, squeezing it, and then rubbing his thumb over it in heavy, soothing strokes.

Suga doesn't even know anymore what he's feeling. He's so happy and he's so sad, and somehow it’s the hours that are turning to seconds. Before he knows it he's standing back in front of Ryuu's house, where he first met both boys, and it's time to say goodbye to one of them.

Ryuu chattered happily the whole walk home, asking about Tokyo and wheedling more promises of candy out of Suga, but now that he realizes he has to go inside and Suga won't be there in the morning, his face crumples and he throws himself into Suga, burying his face in his stomach and sobbing.

This is hard enough, feeling the little boy's shoulders shaking under his arms, but Daichi is standing there watching them and this makes it even worse. He's dry-eyed, but he's biting the inside of his cheek and he looks so _sad_ that Suga has to close his eyes. He sinks to his knees so he can hold Ryuu closer while he cries himself out.

"I wish you could stay," he says when he finally straightens, leaving blotchy patches of tears and snot all over Suga's shirt.

"Me too," Suga says. "You'll have to try all the rest of the ice-cream flavors for me, okay? Tell me which ones are the best."

"All of them?" Ryuu asks, his little voice shaking still as his crying jag works its way out of him.

"Every single one," Suga says.

"Okay." Ryuu nods solemnly.

Suga hugs him again, kisses the top of his head, and smiles as Ryuu walks backwards into his house, waving every step of the way. Suga keeps smiling and waving back until the door closes, and then he's crying, and Daichi is stepping in front of him to hold him like Suga held Ryuu.

"I hate that I made him sad," Suga says, sniffling into Daichi's shoulder.

"You made him _happy_ , that's why he loves you so much."

"He's so sweet."

"He is...when he's not so high on sugar that he's barely human."

Suga lets out some kind of laughing sob, and it sounds so ridiculous that it makes him laugh again, and between that and Daichi's steady arms around him he's able to pull himself together.

"God...I really need to get in better touch with my emotions," he says, wiping his eyes.

"I know. You're like a robot," Daichi says, and finally Suga is really smiling.

“I’d better go home for a bit so my uncle and I can not talk to each other before I leave.”

“Okay, you wouldn’t want to miss out on that,” Daichi says, and Suga nods. “I’m gonna get everything ready so we can just grab it and go tonight.”

“You’re sure I don’t need to bring anything?” Suga asks. He’s not entirely sure where they’re going, or what Daichi is planning on taking, but he’s gathered that there will be a tent involved and this is really all he needs to know. A small, enclosed space for just the two of them, away from everyone else. What more could he possibly want?

“No,” Daichi says. “It’s just one night, we won’t need much. Except…”

Oh, those flushing cheeks. What _will_ Suga do without them?

“I can bring the lube,” he says, and Daichi nods gratefully.

“What about…do you want—”

“No,” Suga says. He does not want condoms. Given their complete lack of experience with anyone but each other it seems unnecessary, and anyway…“I want to really feel you,” he adds.

Daichi swallows audibly. There is perhaps more heat in his eyes now than in his face. “Me too,” he says.

With that settled, they kiss each other quickly and then split up to each walk home. Their last night of living on the same street.

The hour and a half Suga spends inside is like a day all on its own. These seconds are hours, interminable and uncomfortable, until finally his uncle rises and pats him absentmindedly on the head.  

“You’re a good boy, Koushi,” he says. “Don’t be a writer like your father.”

Suga blinks and stammers something that he hopes passes for both a thank you and a sound of assent, and then he sits frozen in his seat. He waits for all the sounds of his uncle puttering around in the bathroom, for the creak as he gets into bed, and then Suga is up, darting to his room to get the small bag of things he has ready. There isn’t much in it. Just a clean t-shirt and underwear, the little bottle of lubricant, and the soft, oversized sweater that the bottle has been hiding under all summer.

It’s 8:55 when Suga climbs out his window with his bag, and carefully slides the glass back into place. Daichi is waiting, grabbing Suga’s hand and telling him to run, because the last bus leaves in five minutes and if they miss it they’ll have a much longer walk.

They race down the street, the tent and a backpack hanging off Daichi’s shoulders, and the canvas bag they’d used to carry towels to the beach now stuffed with blankets and clutched to Suga’s chest.

“Your uncle won’t check on you, will he?” Daichi asks when they’ve arrived at the bus stop with one minute to spare, and are catching their breath as they wait.

“Oh, he definitely will,” Suga says. “We’re in the habit of getting up to share warm milk and a midnight snack while we discuss the meaning of life, and the importance of working from home on Wednesdays.”

“Third Wednesdays,” Daichi says.

“Right.”

The bus arrives and they climb on, sitting close together but not talking for the short drive to the edge of town, the closest they can get to the campground they’ll spend the night in. They're quiet as they start to walk, too, both just hurrying along the path as if they're afraid that wasting any breath on words will make this take longer.

Eventually Daichi reaches to try to carry one of Suga's bags, and Suga bats his hand away.

"I'm fine, you're the one carrying the tent."

"Yours is awkward though," Daichi says.

"Fine, then give me the tent, and we'll trade."

"It's heavy."

"Well, Daichi...if you spent less time reading in tree houses, and more time following a rigorous workout schedule like I do..."

Daichi snorts and hooks his arm around Suga's neck. They walk the rest of the way like this, even though it makes it harder and slower, with all the things they're carrying. Suga doesn't mind, because really, they have all night for what's coming. But it's only a matter of hours before he won't have Daichi's arm around him at all.

When they reach the campground, Daichi pays the attendant at the little office near the entrance, and they're able to look at a map to see which sites are available.

"That one," Suga says, pressing a finger to an unoccupied site that sits on the edge of the grounds and is more isolated than the rest.

The attendant looks like he's about to say something and then thinks better of it, perhaps because Daichi has his arms crossed over his chest, and that _look_ , like he is just daring him to say one word about these two boys showing up in the dark and jumping on the most secluded campsite they can find.  

"He totally knows what we're up to," Suga says when they're back on the trail, lighting their way through the trees with a flashlight now.

"Then he'll know to leave us alone," Daichi says, and Suga shivers just a little even though the night is still comfortably warm.

They pass a few empty sites before reaching their own, and then they spot the little wooden post with their number painted on it, and Suga almost gasps.

It is perfect. More than perfect. It's right on the other side of a copse of trees that separates them from the rest of the grounds, and everything on their side is all soft grass and open skies, so when Suga looks up it’s nothing but deep blue adorned with the brightest stars he has ever seen.

"Ohh," he breathes, his head tipped back.

"They're brighter here than in town, huh?" Daichi says.

"They're...you can't even see them in the city. This is..."

"Here," Daichi says, taking Suga's bags and setting them down with his own, and then pulling the blankets out and spreading one over the grass right next to Suga. "Lie down."

Suga does, flat on his back with his arms crossed behind his head, and Daichi does the same right next to him.

"There are so many," he says, and he's about to add that he's never seen anything more beautiful, but then he looks over at Daichi.

His normally golden skin is painted white with only the moon and stars lighting him, his dark eyes wide and reflecting everything above him, just like the night Suga first tried to kiss him. The night Daichi woke him up and brought him into the sky.

He props himself up on his elbow and leans over Daichi, brushing his fingers over his smooth forehead, his broad cheekbones. It almost hurts, how beautiful he is. Suga doesn't know where to kiss him first, but he knows he's going to kiss him everywhere before this night is through, so he just starts with his lips. Softly at first, not opening his mouth, just brushing his lips over Daichi's, then parting them when he presses them to his cheek, and then his jaw. His jaw always makes Suga get a little carried away. It's so _strong_ and really just made to be traced with Suga's tongue, and when he does this it brings Daichi's hand to his waist, slipping under the hem of his shirt, so Suga can feel the way his fingers tighten as he works his mouth over Daichi’s jaw to mouth at his ear, and then down his neck.

"Suga..." Daichi says, when Suga has made his way to the base of his neck, and is sucking now instead of kissing.  

"I won't leave a mark," Suga says, before bringing lips back to skin to suck right next to the wet patch he's just left.

"I don't...ah," Daichi's breath hitches, and maybe Suga is sucking a little harder than he should. "I don't care if you do. That feels…”

Daichi shifts against him, a slight roll of hips, and Suga smiles and gets back to work, because perhaps Daichi’s neck is something like Suga’s nipples.

“ _Ah._..Suga, Suga…”

It is.

Daichi starts to gasp as Suga moves from one side of his neck to the other, and Suga is still trying hard to not stay in one spot too long. But then Daichi lets out a low moan that Suga can feel against his lips, his hips rolling again, and Suga can’t stop, he sucks harder, until Daichi’s hips start to buck below him and he finally withdraws, leaning back to look at the boy whose heart is pounding beneath him.

His eyes are glazed, his cheeks flushed, and Suga wants to stare at him longer, to memorize exactly how the moonlight falls on his face, but Daichi rolls to his side, pulling Suga down with him so they’re face to face, and this is good too. They just look at each other for a minute, Daichi catching his breath, Suga wondering why they even need air when they can just breathe each other, and then their mouths come together—deep, languid kisses that feel like more than enough to sustain life.

They take their time, because it's only them for once. No one to spot them, to rush or interrupt them, just the gentle glide of tongues, and the brush of fingers through hair and over bare arms. Daichi slips his hand under Suga's shirt to glide it over the soft skin of his stomach, and then up to his chest where he thumbs at his nipple.

Suga hums into his mouth. "Are you trying to get something started?" he asks, as if it hadn't started before they even touched each other.

"Maybe," Daichi murmurs, lips warm and soft against the corner of Suga's mouth.

"Let's just..." Suga pulls away and sits up, reaching to lift Daichi's shirt. "Get these off then," he finishes.

"Here? Do you want..." he gestures vaguely towards the tent, but Suga is kissing him again, pushing his shirt higher, and Daichi doesn't seem at all inclined to argue. They manage to slowly undress each other, frequently pausing to bring their lips together, and then getting distracted when there are so many more places available to kiss. Eventually they’re down to their underwear and Daichi is hovering over Suga, drawing a wet line along his collarbone with his tongue, while Suga runs his hands up and down Daichi's thighs.

He can feel the heat coming from Daichi even as the air starts to cool around them, and it's going to his head. Especially when he looks up at the dark-eyed boy above him, with a world of stars as his backdrop, and Suga wonders if they really have managed to leave the earth behind them already.

"Right here," Suga says, running his hands all the way up Daichi's thighs and slipping them inside the back of his underwear, pulling Daichi's hips down to his. "I want you right here."

Daichi meet his eyes and nods, letting Suga tug his underwear down past his ass, and then taking over to get it all the way off. He kneels over Suga, naked and aroused and perfect, and Suga feels his mouth fall open. _How_ can something this incredible be real?

He lifts his hips off the blanket beneath him when Daichi dips his fingers into his underwear to pull it down, and when Daichi leans over him again, the silky skin of his erection brushes against Suga's, and Suga lets out a shaking sigh.

This is actually, truly going to happen. He’s going to be filled by this boy who has already flooded his thoughts, his heart. Who is looking down at him like Suga is what is keeping him afloat.

"Suga..."

Daichi looks nervous. Suga wants to tell him he is, too, but it's a good nervous. The kind you get when all you're really afraid of is not being able to handle the wonder of what's about to happen.

"I..." Daichi's hand comes to Suga's face, his thumb brushing over his cheekbone, then continuing down to trace over his bottom lip. "I think this all the time and I want to say it now, before...before we...I don't want you to think I'm just saying it because I'm caught up in the moment."

Suga wants to bite his lip, but Daichi's thumb is there, so he has to simply will his eyes to stay dry.

"I love you," Daichi says. "I know we've only—"

"I love you too," Suga says before Daichi can say anything else, because neither of them needs to explain themselves. This doesn't need to be qualified or justified, it just _is._

So what if they're young and this is all new to them? A child doesn't need to be told when he's hungry or thirsty, he doesn't need to reach a certain age to feel anger or hurt or joy, and know that those feelings are true.

And Suga doesn't need anyone to tell him that the way Daichi makes him feel, the way he lifts him up, is because Suga is head over heels, soaring above the clouds, beyond the stars, in love with him.

He doesn't need anyone to tell him that the way Daichi's face lights up at his words, the way he bites his lip but can't keep his smile from spreading, is because they've been riding the same tailwind from the start.

He drops over Suga suddenly, crushing their lips together. It knocks the air from his lungs, but that's always the way Suga feels with him, and he loves it.

"Is it like this for everyone, do you think?" Daichi asks when he pulls back so they can both catch their breath.

Suga doesn't know. He can't imagine that it is, since there is only one Daichi, and he's currently pressed against Suga, naked and ready to give himself to him completely.

"I think," Suga says, reaching an arm out blindly to pat around for his bag, "that I am exceptionally lucky."

He can't find the bag, but Daichi reaches for it and digs around until he comes up with the little bottle.

“ _We._ I’m lucky, too," he says, settling back over Suga's hips, and then looking at the bottle in his hand. “I’ve never, um...I’ve never done this."

Suga’s lips twitch up, despite his intention to keep his expression neutral. "This in general? Because I'm aware of that. Or is it the lube in particular that's—"

"Sugawara Koushi," Daichi says, fighting both a blush and a smile. "Don't tease me right now."

"Not at all?" Suga asks, reaching to circle his finger around the tip of Daichi's cock. Daichi shivers above him and closes his hand over Suga's wrist.

"Just tell me how to start," he says.

"You've never fingered yourself?" Suga asks.

"No, but—"

"I can get myself ready," Suga offers, reaching for the bottle.

"No!" Daichi drops Suga's wrist to pick the lube back up. "I want...Suga..."

Suga knows what he wants, and he wants it too. He does _not_ want to be the one to prepare himself, not with all of the times he's imagined how good it would feel to have Daichi's fingers stretching him open. He’s been waiting for this, and he's going to make sure it's just as good for Daichi as he knows it will be for him.

"Me too," he says, wiggling out from between Daichi's legs. "Just use lots of lube and start with one finger."

Daichi nods, opens his mouth like he's about to ask something else, but then Suga is sitting up and turning over, shifting so he's on his hands and knees with his ass facing Daichi. His face is _flaming,_ being in this position, but the choked sound Daichi makes behind him lets him know it will be more than worth it.

"You can—" he was about to tell Daichi he could touch him, but there's no need, Daichi's hands are already on him. One smoothing over the small of his back, the other trailing warm fingertips down his hip and thigh, and Suga _knows_ that even though Daichi hasn't touched his ass yet, he's looking at it.

And then the hand on his back glides down, the one on his leg moves up, and... _there_. Suga's being cupped by two strong hands. And it’s not like while they're making out, with Daichi feeling but not seeing. It's Daichi kneeling low behind him, free to look and touch as much as he wants, free to spread Suga open and finally, finally take him. Just _thinking_ about it, just feeling Daichi there, with Suga vulnerable and willing before him, makes Suga whimper softly.

Daichi hears him, and his hands start to move, pressing outwards so Suga feels himself being spread, and then squeezing, kneading, working his hands over every bit of Suga's ass and thighs. Suga doesn't know _why_ Daichi is so enamored by this part of him, but he loves the way it feels, to know that Daichi can't get enough of it, can't stop touching, can't stop his breaths from falling hotter and heavier on Suga's skin as he leans closer, and... _oh._ Can't stop himself from bringing his lips to the swell of Suga's ass where it's being pinched in Daichi's firm grip, and kissing it with an open mouth.

Once he starts he can't stop this either, and Suga lets little moans and sighs fall as Daichi presses kiss after kiss all over his bare skin. The kisses quickly evolve into Daichi sucking Suga's flesh into his mouth, biting at it, probably leaving marks all over the backs of his thighs, and Suga doesn't know exactly why this turns him on as much as it does, but his cock is _aching_ now, hanging heavily between his legs, and Daichi hasn't even cracked open the lube yet.

"Daichi...I need..."

Daichi nips at him once more, right where his ass meets his thigh, and then there's the click of a bottle opening, and cool liquid dribbling over his skin. And then, finally, Daichi is spreading him with one hand, and the tip of one slick finger brushes over Suga’s entrance, circles it, and then—thank god, thank god that Daichi is not a tease, because Suga cannot wait any longer for this—it’s pressing inside of him. Slowly but not tentatively, just one measured, confident stroke that brings Daichi’s finger all the way inside until his palm is pressed to Suga’s ass, and Suga makes a sound he can’t categorize, a kind of hiccuping, sighing groan. It feels _amazing_. He knew that it would be different than when he does it himself, but it’s not just the sensation of Daichi’s thicker, longer finger, it’s the entire idea of Daichi behind him, watching Suga open up around him.

And Daichi seems to get the idea all on his own, without needing any more input from Suga, of what he’s supposed to do. He draws his finger out and pushes it back in, quickly picking up a rhythm at just the right pace. Enough friction inside Suga to start the heat pooling in his stomach, without building it too much, too fast. And then he's circling his finger, stretching Suga a little more, before pulling out and pressing two fingers to his entrance, and...wow...this is really not the same as when Suga does it. Two of Daichi's fingers feel like three of his own, and it's _good,_ and Daichi is doing this just right. He's not just stretching Suga, not just getting him ready—he's fucking him with his strong fingers and Suga is already gasping, cock already dripping beneath him, when Daichi brushes against Suga's prostate and Suga cries out, high and startled.

Daichi immediately pulls his fingers out and Suga cries again because that is the exact opposite of what he wanted.

"Daichi!" he says.

"Did I hurt you?" Daichi's hands are running over his sides, trying to make up for some imagined injury.

"No! That was...do that again. Please."

"I don't..." Daichi has no idea what he did, but he slips his fingers back inside and twists them, rubbing at Suga until...

"There! Oh...right there," Suga says. And now that Daichi is sure that Suga likes this even though he sounds like he's in pain, he finds a new rhythm, one that scatters a strong curl of his fingers in just the right spot between every few thrusts, and soon Suga has his face pressed to the ground and is clutching the blanket in clenched fists, tears collecting in his eyes. Daichi runs his hand down Suga's arched back and lets it settle heavily between his shoulder blades, so when Suga is suddenly being filled by three fingers and everything in him tries to jerk away from the intensity of it, the burning stretch, all he can do is sob into the fabric below him.

"Suga?" Daichi's voice is rough and strained, like he's holding himself back, but also tinged with concern.

"Don't...don't stop," Suga says, tries to say. He can barely do anything but brace himself as he waits to adjust to having so much inside of him. "Just...oh, my God."

"Is it too much? I can—"

"No...no." It is too much, but he doesn't want it to stop. It hurts, but there's a delicious, burning pleasure along with the pain. "Please, keep going."

Daichi leans over him, kisses his shoulder, and then all along his spine as he starts to move his fingers again, and with every thrust there's a little less pain and a little more of that blissfully intense feeling that slices right through Suga. When Daichi curls his fingers again Suga mewls and presses his hips back against Daichi's hand, and he knows that it’s time.

"Now," Suga gasps. "I'm ready now."

Daichi's hand stills, and then he kisses the small of Suga's back as he withdraws his fingers, and Suga can't stop a little whine from escaping at the awful feeling of being emptied. He knows it's only for a moment though, he’s about to find out what the real thing feels like.

"Daichi?" he asks, because he heard the lube opening and closing, but Daichi isn't touching him yet and he's not sure what's happening behind him. "Are you...?"

"Yeah...yes, I just...I want to be able to see you."

Oh. Suga was so lost in the feeling of Daichi opening him that he forgot, they don't have to stay in this position. And he wants Daichi to see him, too, almost as much as he wants to see Daichi.

He rolls to his side and looks up at Daichi, finally getting to see how fingering Suga has affected him. His chest and thighs are as flushed as his face now, his dick heavy in his own hand and glistening from tip to base.

Suga makes a needy little sound in his throat. He wishes he had seen Daichi putting the lube on, but then Daichi pumps his hand over himself once, twice, making sure he's fully ready, and suddenly Suga is moving on instinct. He practically throws himself at Daichi, climbing into his lap and kissing him hard, more teeth than lips, and Daichi presses his hands into the ground behind him to keep them from tumbling over.

"Sorry," Suga says. He's not sorry, but he did just attack Daichi and has left his lips red and swollen.

Daichi shakes his head. "I told you, I like when you jump on me."

Suga smiles, lifting himself up and shifting until he feels Daichi's dick brush his ass, rubbing against it as he settles back on the other boy’s hips. "And you like how strong I am," Suga says.

Daichi's mouth has fallen open at the feel of Suga's skin against his cock. "Yes," he says, the word coming out choked.

“And you’d like it if I rode you right now?” Suga asks, rising on his knees again and reaching behind himself to find Daichi’s cock, to guide it into the cleft of his ass.

“ _Yes_.”

“I like it when you say yes to me,” Suga says, lowering himself just enough for Daichi’s cockhead to press against his entrance.

“Get on me and I’ll say it again,” Daichi says through gritted teeth, and as that is probably the most forceful thing Daichi has ever said to him, and he has said it in that _voice_ , that one that defies anyone to be foolish enough to disobey, Suga grips Daichi’s shoulders and forces himself over his cock.

“Holy shit,” Daichi gasps, and Suga opens his mouth but no sound comes out, he just feels his eyes widen as the broad head of Daichi's cock fully enters him, and then realizes he's not moving anymore.

What even is this feeling? It's _nothing_ like fingertips, his own or Daichi's. It's so _hot_ and unyielding and—

“Suga?” Daichi's voice is much higher than it usually is. He seems to be shaking.

“I just need a second,” Suga says. He hopes. He actually has no idea how he's going to fit all of Daichi inside himself when he already feels like he's splitting open.

“Okay. Can...can I help?” Daichi shifts slightly, sitting up straighter so he can wrap an arm around Suga, and in doing so, pressing himself in a little deeper and making Suga squeak.

“You feel huge,” Suga says without thinking, and Daichi's already flushed cheeks become a shade darker.

“Is it bad?” he asks.

“Mm-mm.” Suga shakes his head, his lips pressed tightly together. “Just…”

“Here,” Daichi says, sitting up further, shifting inside Suga again and drawing another thin keening sound from him. But now he's able to lean in close, and he noses at Suga's nipple before pressing his tongue against it. He licks it with heavy, wet strokes until it's hard and raised under his tongue, and then his lips close around it and Suga is already bearing down on his cock again, because Daichi is a genius and this is just what he needed. The suction around his nipple makes desire flood through him, makes him hungry for more of that aching fullness, and he sinks lower, seeking it out instead of drawing away from it.

" _Ohh_." The wanton moan that flies from Suga's mouth, when he presses himself over the thick base of Daichi's cock and feels sturdy hips under his ass, sounds completely foreign, like it couldn't possibly have come from him. But he is someone else now, a new Suga. One who knows what it feels like to be joined with another person, who knows what it’s like to be so full that there’s no room left for air, or thoughts, or anything but need and sensation.

He forces his eyes open so he can see Daichi, and when their eyes meet he finds himself smiling even as he pants, and Daichi is smiling back, because they’re _doing_ this, and Suga has taken all of Daichi in himself, which seems like an accomplishment now that he's experienced it. And it's only going to get better.

Daichi is rubbing soothing circles over his back. He isn't rushing him, or asking him to please start moving, even though Suga can tell how much he wants him to by how tense his whole body is. And there must be room for a little something other than need, because Suga's heart goes tight with affection.

Finally he's ready to move again, to give them both what they've been waiting for.

"Okay," he says. "Take two."

"Huh?"

"I'm actually going to ride you now," Suga says, and Daichi doesn't say anything, he just bites his lip and watches Suga rise up, lifting himself until he feels Daichi's cockhead catch inside him, and then carefully lowering himself down again.

It's still extremely tight, there's still a deep ache, but it doesn't make Suga freeze up this time. And after sliding slowly up and down Daichi's length a few more times, the pain become just a fuzzy sensation on the border of everything else he's feeling. The way Daichi fills him so completely, so every bit of him is being brushed by that smooth, heated skin, and the little jolt it gives him every time he sinks against Daichi's hips and knows that he's taking him to the hilt.

And Daichi...Daichi makes a sound low in his throat every time Suga pushes down that goes straight to Suga's cock. His breathing is already ragged, his supporting arm shaking slightly behind him, the other one holding Suga's hip so tightly he's sure there will be bruises in the shape of fingers in the morning, and he's so glad. He wants Daichi all over him, wants to look at himself tomorrow, when he's in Tokyo and Daichi is far away, and see that this was real.

He starts to move faster, lets himself fall instead of lowering himself, and the difference this makes, forcing Daichi even deeper inside him, sends his head snapping back and his toes curling.

"Oh...Suga, yes," Daichi says, and Suga remembers he was waiting to hear Daichi say that. He lifts himself and gives it to him again, holding tight to Daichi's shoulders as he lets himself fall hard over his cock. He’s finally finding a rhythm, finally feels like he knows what he's doing, and he keeps his eyes on Daichi as he rides him in earnest, grinding down against him each time Daichi fills him.

"Suga..." Daichi's voice is raspy, he loves what it does to the sound of his name. "You feel...oh God, Suga...I need to fuck you."

Suga doesn't know how he can keep becoming _more_ aroused when he's already in the middle of all of this—maybe there is no limit, maybe it's just like everything else with Daichi and he'll keep rising infinitely. Daichi's words make him dizzy and high, and he almost feels like he’s leaving the ground when Daichi suddenly leans back, pulling Suga with him so he has to catch himself on the broad chest beneath him, sticky with a thin sheen of sweat. And then he can't do anything but hold on when Daichi reaches behind him to cup his ass with both hands, spreading him as he lifts his hips and presses in deep.

Daichi’s thrusts are short and hard. He doesn’t have the space to pull out far, but he has the strength to drive in forcefully, enough that it would knock Suga forward every time were it not for the way he’s grasping onto Daichi, and the bruising grip Daichi has on his ass. Each thrust draws a soft cry from Suga, a low grunt from Daichi, and it becomes a kind of symphony—their voices blending together over the steady pounding of Daichi’s hips against Suga, the wet sounds that accompany each push and pull—building in tempo until the beats fall one right after the other and the words begin to change. _Suga,_ every time Daichi hits inside him, and then _God, oh God,_ when the rhythm becomes erratic, and Suga wants to cry because it feels _so good,_ and he knows it’s almost over. 

Suga feels it the moment Daichi’s orgasm takes over. He feels his chest heave underneath him and the pulse of his cock as it slams in once more, and then Daichi’s hips are shuddering against him as he pumps Suga full, sending sticky heat spilling down the insides of his thighs.

Suga is so close, and he wants to come just like this, with Daichi still inside him, his release still hot on his skin. He sits up, pushing away from Daichi’s chest until he’s upright again, straddling Daichi’s hips while the other boy stays flat on his back, still shaking as his orgasm works through him. He groans and there’s another whispered refrain of _yes, Suga, yes,_ when Suga circles his hips, grinding down and gasping when he finds just the right angle. He stays right there, leaning back with his hands pressed into strong thigh muscles, and shifting his hips just enough to make Daichi’s cock brush against that spot, over and over.

He’s almost there, he could do it just like this, but then Daichi’s hand closes around his cock and Suga’s eyes fly open. He’s gone untouched all this time, other than little tantalizing brushes against Daichi’s stomach, and it doesn’t take anything at all, two rough strokes, maybe two and a half, and Suga is crying out, high and utterly wrecked by the powerful grip of his orgasm. There can be nothing better than this, than feeling himself clench around Daichi’s cock as his body spasms and twitches, spilling hot over Daichi’s hand and stomach. And Daichi doesn’t stop, he strokes him all the way through it, drawing out every last drop as Suga gasps above him, head fallen back and eyes open to the night sky.

And this, this is just what he knew it would be. They’ve made it. The stars are all around them, lighting them, guiding them, tracing paths through space that only they can follow.

Suga breathes Daichi's name, sending it out as a wish. Trusting that one of those glowing orbs will pick it up and carry it to wherever shooting stars take promises to be sealed. Then he lets himself fall forward onto Daichi's chest, and the other boy's arms come around him, so tight, and they hold each other, speechless and spent and euphoric.

Eventually the sweat coating their bodies cools, and Suga starts to feel the chill of the night air settling over his bare legs and back. He sits up and Daichi does the same, patting around for discarded t-shirts and wiping at sticky skin until they're clean enough to wrap themselves around each other again, with another blanket pulled up to their shoulders this time.

"How do you feel?" Daichi asks when they're facing each other on their sides, with Suga folded into his chest.

"Warm," Suga says, and Daichi chuckles.

"I meant..."

"I know. I feel good," Suga says, nuzzling his nose into the dip at the base of Daichi's neck. "Well fucked."

He really can't think of a better way to describe it. The residual ache, the deliciously heavy limbs, and the happy, floaty feeling in his head that makes it hard to put full sentences together.

Daichi makes a little sound that hints at both embarrassment and deep satisfaction, and Suga feels his lips press against the top of his head.

"Are you going to sleep?" he asks.

"Hmm, maybe," Suga mumbles. He thinks he's already halfway there.

"I'm gonna set my alarm," Daichi says. "I don't want to sleep all night."

"'Kay," Suga says, or thinks about saying. Daichi is so warm around him and the night smells so good. Pine needles and earth and sky, and Daichi's skin right against his face. He's already dreaming before he falls asleep.

*

When he wakes the sky is still black and he’s curled up on his side with Daichi behind him, hot skin pressed to his back, Daichi's legs folded behind his, and his arm stretched out under Suga's head, acting as his pillow. His other arm is wrapped tight around Suga's middle, and Suga has never felt so safe and loved as he does right now, out here in a forest in the middle of the night.

He wonders why he woke up. It’s quiet—just the brush of leaves and the familiar chant of cicadas, and Daichi's breath hot on the back of his neck—and he realizes then that that's what has pulled him from sleep. It's not the steady rhythm of someone resting peacefully, it's uneven and stuttering.

"Daichi?" he whispers.

"Hey," Daichi says. "You can keep sleeping."

Suga yawns and wiggles against Daichi, trying to turn around, but he's held tightly in place. "If you're awake, I want to be, too," he says.

"It's only been a couple hours," Daichi says, and Suga wonders if he's been awake for every minute of them.

"Daichi," he says again, "are you okay?"

"Yeah.” His voice lifts at the end of the word, making it sound uncertain and wavering. “I just...I'm sorry..."

Suga waits, he wraps his fingers around Daichi's wrist and holds his breath, praying that Daichi is not about to tell him he regrets what they've done. He doesn't know what that would do to him, to be this high off the ground and find that no one's holding his hand.

"I don't want you to go," Daichi says, his voice breaking. His face, when he presses it to Suga's bare shoulder, is already wet with quiet tears shed while Suga slept, and Suga feels something break inside himself. It feels like more than just his heart.

"Daichi, Daichi," he says, and this time Daichi doesn't try to hold him still when he turns in his arms. He won't look at him though, once Suga's facing him, he just wraps his arms around him and Suga lets him bury his face in the crook of his neck.

He _cries_ then. Actual sobs wracking his chest and making him shake under Suga's arms, and Suga wants to fall apart, too, but he can't. He can't leave Daichi without someone to comfort him, and he doesn't want to make him feel the way Suga does, watching him break. He has to be strong right now because he _knew,_ he knew this would happen. He knew from the start that Daichi was scared of this hurting. He knew that under the hard muscles and easy laugher, Daichi was just a boy with an open heart, who could worry and blush and cry. Who had never been in love before and was afraid to do it with someone who couldn’t stay.

“I’m sorry,” Suga says. “Daichi, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Daichi pulls away from him and shakes his head, sitting up and taking Suga with him. “Don’t,” he says.

“But…” Suga smooths his hands through Daichi’s hair, wanting to fix something and not knowing how. “You wouldn’t feel like this right now if—”

“If I didn’t know you?” Daichi asks, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. “If I hadn’t fallen in love with you? How would that be better?”

“It wouldn’t,” Suga says, and Daichi looks almost confused for a moment, before he laughs.

“Then why are you apologizing for something that neither of us would want to change?”

“I don’t know,” Suga says, brushing away his own tears. “Because you’re sad, and I love you, and—”

Daichi’s still laughing and crying when he pulls Suga to him with a hand on the back of his head to press a salty kiss to his lips.

“I’m okay,” he says after. “I’m okay, I’m just...Suga, what happens now? What are we when the summer’s over?”

“We’re us,Daichi,” Suga says, tugging at the blanket that fell from them when they sat up, and wrapping it around their shoulders. “Wherever we are, we’ll still be you and me. Do you think I’m just going to forget about you if I can’t see you?”

“No, I...I know you won’t. That’s what I’m...Suga, I’m so afraid that I’m gonna be that guy that you never forget, because he was your first, but you never see again.”

“Daichi,” Suga is shaking his head, pressing his hand to Daichi’s chest. “No, no. How could you think that?”

“Because isn’t that how it goes? Isn’t that how it usually works, when something like this happens?”

“Something like _what?”_ Suga asks.

“This whole thing, the whole cliché.” Daichi’s voice is rising—not in anger, but with a desperation to be understood, to be proven wrong—and he holds his hands up as if to say, _This, all of this_. Summer magic and a million stars, and the two boys who have fallen under their spell. “Meeting someone in the summer and then losing them in the fall.”

“Daichi,” Suga says softly, “do you _want_ to see me again?”

“ _Yes_ , of _course_ I do. You know that, don’t you?”

“I do,” Suga says, “and that’s why I’m not worried. I’m…” He shakes his head. There isn’t a big enough word to convey how much it hurts to think of not seeing Daichi every day. He can’t just say _sad._ “Thinking of saying goodbye to you makes me feel like I’m being ripped in two, but I’m not worried, because we’re _people,_ Daichi. We’re not a trope.”

“But—”

“You don’t have to let me go, just because I have to leave.”

Daichi’s eyes are wide with a kind of desperate hope, and it kills Suga that he has spent any time at all thinking that the end of summer meant the end of anything else.

"You can say goodbye to me,” Suga says, “and I can go back to Tokyo, but you don't have to _let me go._ Call me. Email me. Over explain things to me all year long, and then come to Tokyo and be my second and my third."

"Suga..."

“Or don't! Don't call me, just know that when I see you again, no how matter how much or little I hear from you before then, I'm going to look at you and forget to breathe just like I do now.”

“How can you _know_ that, though?”

Suga smiles and strokes Daichi’s cheek, warm underneath the cooling tracks of tears. He knows this the same way that he knows he needs to eat and drink. He may have nothing to compare all of this to, but he also isn’t stupid. He knows that Daichi isn't just special _now,_ because he was Suga's first. Suga gave himself to Daichi, chose him as his first, because he was _already_ something so very special.

And he knows that's where the difference lies. He knows in two months, four months, eight...he won't regret anything the two of them did, he won’t relegate it to a summer memory. Daichi will still be a part of every one of his days, in the fall and the winter and the spring, and they’ll count them down together until it’s summer again and they can take flight.

“Daichi,” he says. “I am _not_ letting you go.”

Daichi stares at him—he studies his face, his eyes, the set of his lips and chin, firm and certain—and then he nods.

“I _am_ going to call you,” he says, and Suga nods.

“I know you are.”

Daichi smiles. He leans in and kisses Suga’s head, the side of his nose, and then his lips.

“You really are deceptively strong,” he says.

Suga laughs softly and shakes his head. Now that Daichi is more composed, he’s already losing his grip and he feels the tears welling up in his eyes, because he’s _not_ worried, but he is so, so sad.

“I’m not,” he says with something that is meant to be a smile, but can’t quite hold the shape.

Daichi doesn’t make him try to keep talking. He pulls Suga into his lap and wraps the blanket tight around them, and now Suga cries and Daichi strokes his hair, murmuring plans and promises soft in his ear.

“Thank you,” he says, sometime later when neither of them are crying anymore and they’re just watching the sky start to lighten.

Suga shifts in his arms to look up at him. “For what?”

“I don’t know,” Daichi says with a little shrug that makes the blanket slip from his shoulders, and Suga gets a little flutter just seeing the strong curves, the smooth lines of collarbones that he has kissed every inch of. “Just for existing, I guess. And for being the kind of guy who would see a crazy little kid setting up a lemonade stand and come right over to buy his substandard wares.”

“I was really thirsty,” Suga says, and Daichi nips his shoulder lightly in response. “If you weren’t the kind of guy who’s willing to help a crazy little kid make terrible lemonade, I never would have met you.”

“We’re both just really good guys, aren’t we?” Daichi says.

“The best,” Suga says, and he is, of course, talking about Daichi. Though he knows he must not be someone too terrible to have ended up with a boy like this, holding him so close Suga can feel his every breath and word vibrate through his own body, as if they belong to him, too.  

 *

Neither of them try to go back to sleep. They pass the earliest hours of the morning talking quietly and trading kisses, running hands over bare skin and pressing fingertips to lips one by one. They're savoring each other, memorizing just the way backs are curved and hips are angled. And when it's time to leave their little nest of blankets, they help each other dress. Suga tugging soft cotton over the marks he's made low on Daichi's neck, Daichi easing Suga's shorts up over the shadows his fingers left the night before.

They pack their few things back up and sling bags over shoulders, then drop them again to hold each other as close as they can one more time, with no one around them and nothing in the way.

The walk back through the campground is quiet and goes far too quickly. The bus ride back to town seems so fast Suga isn’t even sure it happened, and then they're walking through their neighborhood and onto their street. Daichi's street, not really Suga's, but still _theirs_.

Daichi stays outside while Suga slips back in through his window and empties the small bag he'd taken with him into his suitcase. A little plastic bottle that has never seen better use, a dirty t-shirt, and a sweater he never needed to wear because he had Daichi to keep him warm.

He says goodbye to his uncle who seems a touch surprised that Suga is even still there, and then he goes back outside to where Daichi waits.

Suga blows a kiss towards Ryuu’s house, and Daichi promises he’ll tell Ryuu that Suga already misses him. And then they’re halfheartedly arguing over who will carry Suga’s suitcase, until they just settle on holding it together.

Daichi tries to get Suga to stop at the bakery where they’d shared breakfast just four days earlier, but Suga says he’s not hungry. It’s true, he has no appetite right now, but mostly he just can’t bear the thought of sitting at that same table and knowing that, instead of falling over themselves in their rush to get home and undress each other, they’ll be walking to the train station and saying goodbye.

They decide to do it down the street from the station, so they can be alone. They stand with their arms locked together, Suga gripping Daichi's biceps and Daichi cupping Suga's elbows, like neither one of them is going to let the other walk away.

"How do we do this?" Daichi asks, and Suga has no words. As quickly as possible would probably be best. They could stand here for hours and never manage to say exactly what they're feeling, and never, ever be ready to leave.

"I think...I think I'd better just go," Suga says.

Daichi bites his lip and nods. Suga can see the moisture shining in his eyes, so he puts on a smile and tries to make it better.

"Make sure you eat your ice-cream so you can grow big and strong like me and Ryuu," he says, squeezing Daichi's arms. "Try to do something about these chicken wings before I see you again, okay?"

It doesn't work. Daichi just says, "Okay," and he tries to smile, but his lower lip trembles and he sucks it between his teeth, ducking his head down as his tears fall.

"Hey," Suga says, cupping his face and lifting it so he can kiss the drops from his cheeks. Daichi's hands come to Suga's shoulders, then up into his hair, holding him against himself with their foreheads pressed together. "Daichi...I love you. I love you." He doesn't know what else to give him, but he can offer him this endlessly.

“I love you, too,” Daichi says. Suga can tell how hard he’s trying to make the stilted words come out even and strong, and feels his resolve to keep it together crumble.  

They were supposed to say goodbye right here, and Suga was supposed to walk away with a straight back and a smile so Daichi wouldn’t worry about him.

Right now all he can make himself do is lean into Daichi’s waiting arms and let his tears spread over his shirt. The same simple, black one he was wearing the first time Suga saw him. He looks so good in it, he always looks so good.

“Dammit, Daichi,” he mumbles into his shoulder. “If you weren’t so extraordinarily attractive I wouldn’t even be in this mess.”

“Sure you would,” Daichi says. “I’d have won you over anyway, with my culinary expertise.”

Suga laughs and then cries again, because he loves thinking about every little thing they’ve shared—he knows he’ll do it again and again when they’re apart, and it will make him feel better—but right now it hurts as much as it helps.

“God…” He presses his forehead to Daichi’s shoulder and then rubs his face hard against his chest, trying to clear away the tears and the hiccuping breaths all at once. “Tell me to be strong.”

“You _are_ strong,” Daichi says, kissing the side of his head and then pushing him upright with two sturdy hands on Suga’s thin shoulders. “I crack first every time.”

Suga smiles. Daichi’s jaw is as strong as always, his shoulders as broad. His hips, his thighs, everything about him is solid, and firm, and commanding. But his eyes are red, his cheeks wet, and his mouth soft. Suga loves his dichotomies. He loves that he knows them and gets to feel his heart swell because of them.

“I love you so much,” he says. He’s lost count of how many times he’s said it, but Daichi doesn’t seem to mind.

“Me too,” he says, and he’s crying still, but his smile holds. “I’m walking you to the train.”

“No,” Suga says. “We’re supposed to—”

“I’m walking you to the train.” Daichi turns Suga in the right direction and propels him forward with his arm around his shoulder, holding the suitcase in his other hand.

Suga purposefully drags his feet, leaning heavily back against Daichi until the other boy is laughing and practically lifting Suga off the ground to get him to move.

“You’re terrible,” he says when he’s successfully dragged Suga right up to the train station.

“And you love me,” Suga says.

“And I love you.”

Suga wants to hear him say it a thousand more times, wants to watch the way his lips move when he forms the words, and the way his eyes smile. But the train arrives just after they do, and this is it. They are actually out of time now.

“I have to go,” he says. His efforts to sound calm just make his voice sound strained, and still panicked.

“I know,” Daichi says. “I know.” He’s dropped the suitcase and his hands are sliding up Suga’s back and then wrapping around him to draw him into a crushing hug.

“Call me,” Suga says into his chest. “Incessantly.”

“I will. I promise.” Daichi steps back, looks around at the smattering of other passengers waiting for this early Sunday train, none of whom seem to even notice them, and then kisses Suga right on the mouth, quick and hard and filled with everything they don’t have time to say right now. “I’m not letting you go,” he says, even as he pushes Suga back and presses the suitcase handle into his hand.

“Me neither,” Suga says. He steadies himself with a hand on Daichi’s chest and kisses him once more, then he forces himself to let go, to break contact and turn around. It’s like wading through quicksand, getting himself to walk away from the thing he wants to run to, but he can feel Daichi’s eyes on him—steady and warm, just like his very presence—and he keeps going.

When he turns Daichi is right where he left him, new tears coursing down his cheeks, but doing nothing to diminish the light in his eyes or the love in his smile.

Suga knows that Daichi is seeing the same thing when he looks at him, because they were both right all along. It _is_ hard, it’s incredibly, heart-crushingly hard. But it’s worth it.

He finds Daichi again as soon as he’s in his seat. It hurts so much to see him standing there and not be able to go to him, to touch him. It hurts even more when the train pulls away and he has to watch the figure he’s kissed and held and followed to the stars get farther and farther away, until he can’t see him at all anymore.

But Suga is smiling still, because it _is_ worth it. Everything they already have, everything they will have, everything they haven’t even thought to dream of yet, is more than enough to eclipse any bit of hurt that tries to weigh them down.

Winged hearts aren’t that easy to break, after all. They don’t know how to do anything but rise up.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was lucky to be able to work with the incredibly sweet and talented Isa, who has made a full page comic to go along with one of the final scenes of this fic (have included just a little snippet above). She captured these boys and their love so perfectly, and I can’t thank her enough for making this happen ♡
> 
> You can see the full comic in all its beauty [here](http://isnri.tumblr.com/post/145061787134/the-stars-in-summer-read-the-full-fic-here-the). 
> 
> \--
> 
> [Reach up and paint the sky with me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVul71VqhzA)  
> Finding you has changed everything
> 
> We both break free if we make it on top  
> If one should fall we both will drop  
> We move together from here on out  
> What you need is what I'm about


End file.
